Nobody had a tougher time in front of the unruly and antagonistic crowd in Toronto for SummerSlam than JBL and The Undertaker, as the two Texan vets were completely overshadowed by the throngs around them, who took their fun from Mexican waves instead of the plodding WWE Championship match. It didn't help matters that Layfield and Undertaker's exchange ended meekly, though the impossibly lame DQ finish did at least lead to an electric moment to whet the appetite for future meetings, with Layfield Chokeslammed through the roof of his own limousine. While committing a pay-per-view main event to the pair after such a disastrous showing was certainly a risk, at least the stakes had been adequately raised. At No Mercy, one man would be carted out of the arena in the back of a hearse, as the dastardly Layfield was forced to survive another challenge from "The Deadman".
- No Mercy 2004 comes to you from the Continental Airlines (now Meadowlands) Arena in East Rutherford, New Jersey, formerly the home of the New Jersey Devils and the Nets, before their move to Brooklyn. It's been seen previously on this blog as the host of SummerSlam 1989 and SummerSlam 1997, as well as King of the Ring 2001. Michael Cole and Tazz are on the call.
- Our opening contest features a masterclass from Eddie Guerrero, who gets a big win over powerhouse Luther Reigns to start the night. Eddie takes a number of big bumps to accentuate Reigns' offense, and then takes over late with a ferocious comeback, firing off rabid strikes and turning the match into pure anarchy. Eddie survives with a combination of ingenuity and grit, stealing a police baton, dodging a chair shot (which wipes out the meddling Mark Jindrak instead), before landing the Frog Splash on the second attempt, with Reigns laid out after catching the baton upside the noggin. It's been a long time since we've seen Eddie's intellect shine on pay-per-view, and while Reigns has little potential beyond his current role as a heater for Kurt Angle, Eddie succeeded at making me buy into Reigns as a true Goliath, another testament to his greatness.
- Spike Dudley doesn't feel as out of place portraying a cowardly bully as I might've thought he would, but his Cruiserweight title defense against Nunzio proved how limited the role was for him in the ring. Nunzio put in a good shift, I loved his intricate mat work and occasional displays of power and athleticism, but Spike had little to offer, and mostly just got tossed around. Spike not even doing the work to put Nunzio down (D-Von creates a distraction, and Bubba pulls the crotch of the challenger into the ringpost) was another sign of how weak this character is, which isn't befitting of a long-term champion.
- For the first time since the early days of the Invasion angle, Billy Kidman has been given something to chew on from creative, as he's turned towards being a sadistic heel in the aftermath of shoot injuring Chavo Guerrero with the Shooting Star Press. Kidman refusing to use the move in the face of pressure from tag partner Paul London and the SmackDown fans makes him one of the only heels in the history of wrestling to seem justified cutting a "you people" promo, and I love how physical his grudge match was with London. Both men are still flashy but slow it down to really emphasize some of their harder-hitting moves, and they hook the crowd about midway through. After Kidman lands a wicked dropkick, fracas ensues over his continued refusal to attempt his finishing maneuver, as he momentarily considers abandoning the match, before ultimately landing it in brutal fashion, driving his knees into London's ribs to secure victory. It looked an awful lot like a botch, which wouldn't be surprising considering how out of control Kidman tended to be with the move, but that sloppiness was intentional, as it plays into a post-match "internal bleeding" angle with London. Kidman gets proper heat for delivering a second SSP to London while the latter was strapped to a headboard, as the crowd has finally turned against the move. It was beyond refreshing to see actual story drama devoted to cruiserweights after years of being afterthoughts in the WWE, and both men proved that they could handle it, telling a riveting story in the ring that worked the crowd to perfection.
- There's never been a more humiliating moment for me as a wrestling fan than sitting through the agonizing few seconds of Kenzo Suzuki "singing" Born in the USA, though at least the tag title match that followed was decent. Kenzo and tag partner Rene Dupree, as random a championship partnership as I've seen, successfully defend against the all-star tandem of Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio, who will never not be a good time. RVD and Rey are as outstanding as ever, but Dupree and Suzuki land a few solid shots, with Kenzo standing out for his slick twisting DDT and ridiculously loud double chop to Rey. Kenzo gains rope leverage to pin Mysterio after the West Coast Pop is blocked by Dupree, keeping the titles on the team that definitely has more to gain holding them, there is a glimmer of potential in this duo.
- A 15 minute Kurt Angle/Big Show match sounded horrifying on paper, and it got off to a rough start, with Show dominating in listless fashion and Angle immediately retreating to be counted out. But with Kurt forced to fight against the angry giant under orders by Teddy Long, the two pros cobble together just enough spots to make this worthwhile. Show punches through a chair to a massive pop, but Kurt's wrestling expertise saves him, as he's able to hang on for long enough to get Show to the mat, then attack the leg to cripple the giant. Kurt lands an impressive Angle Slam, and brings out his colorful tranquilizer gun, a favored weapon of his that he used to stun Show on SmackDown and shave the giant's dome. It's a unique and distinctive threat to add to this feud, and Show snapping the rifle was a truly heroic moment, another example of the complexity and care added to these matches. The ring buckles as Angle takes flight for a thunderous avalanche chokeslam, as Show's mighty paw secures him a big win. I'll give a lot of credit to the booking team and the poise of these two performers, they made this stopgap feud something truly memorable.
- Michael Cole's proudest moment on commentary is kayfabing the lack of a champion's advantage for Booker T in his United States title defense against John Cena, as due to it coming at the end of their "Best of 7 Series", it's competed under the same rules as the other matches, which had no allowances for said advantage, and therefore, this one doesn't either. That little nugget had far more to offer than the match itself, which was another clunker between these two. A few moves are exchanged either way, with little of interest happening until Cena kicks out of the Book End, and immediately lands an F-U to win. He's still crazy over, so the crowd laps up this superhuman booking, but it's a sign of what was to come for the imperviousness of his character.
- No Mercy troughs with a six-person inter-gender tag match before the main event, as Jackie Gayda and Dawn Marie tear off some clothes in a catfight (part of an inert love triangle they've got going on over Charlie Haas), and Tazz delivers goes into full homophobic mode over the actions of Rico, who smooches Bubba Ray and requests D-Von hit him with the Wazzup. Absolutely crass, gay panic BS that everyone involved should feel effing mortified about. Haas, Gayda, and Rico win thanks to a moonsault from the latter, as if wrestling mattered here in any way.
- Main event time, as JBL and The Undertaker meet in a Last Ride match (similar in rules to an Ambulance match) for the WWE Championship. Much like at SummerSlam, it's difficult to get into for a while, though this time, the crowd at least stayed attentive, and went bananas when both men up the stakes, as JBL's head cracks off the steel steps on a Tombstone Piledriver. That was an outstanding spot, and the follow-up totally won me over, as the violence continues to escalate, with Undertaker eating a faceful of steel, and JBL crashing through, appropriately enough, the Spanish announce table. The air does go back out of the building for the cheap finish, though, as Paul Heyman aligns with Heidenreich, for reasons unspecified and likely completely illogical, and Undertaker is eventually laid out with a Clothesline From Hell. JBL retains, but the ludicrous violence is far from over, as Heyman urges Heidenreich to commandeer a car in the parking lot, which is then rammed into the hearse carrying Undertaker's body, and it all ends in a comical explosion. There's no one out there clamoring for a Heidenreich push, so that was a major misfire, but those few minutes after the Tombstone were truly special.
7/10
Up until the US title match, No Mercy was a good to great outing for the SmackDown brand, especially by 2004 standards, but there was a number of rough patches after that. Considering the lack of established names on Friday nights, this was about as much as you could expect, and even with the cringeworthy Tazz commentary and the show-ending angle that bombed with me, the first two hours carried it to a solid score.
- Henry
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