By January of 1991, it was obvious that the so-called "Golden Era" of the WWF was on it's last legs. Vince McMahon had tried to change things up the previous year, putting the strap on The Ultimate Warrior, and while business started out good, attendance and pay-per-view buys would drop throughout the rest of the year. Make no mistake, Warrior was still a draw, but there was nothing anyone could've done to turn around the sinking ship. From watching so many shows from this time period, I've noticed a lot of repetition, at least in terms of pay-per-views. Tons of meaningless mid-card matches, a litany of mediocre monster heels and a lack of conclusive finishes to the most hyped contests are the obvious flaws, but perhaps the most glaring issue was just how similar each show feels. Nothing really stands out or feels particularly memorable outside of 'Mania main events, and the booking of the main event scene is way too predictable. That, I think, was Warrior's biggest obstacle as champion, he just feels so much like Hogan Jr., and by this point in time, it was beginning to become very clear that that formula was growing stale. With the face main eventers in limbo, Vince attempted to create a new top flight heel, bringing back Sgt. Slaughter and rebranding him as an Iraqi sympathizer, using the Gulf War for heat. Royal Rumble 1991 was to be Slaughter's crowning moment, so let's take a look at how it went.
- Roddy Piper is on comms for this show, joining Gorilla Monsoon in the booth. This is probably the best color commentary work he's done, at least from what I've heard, which is to say that he wasn't completely unbearable. Piper just has so many words to get out, and is all over the place at times, making it next to impossible to keep track of what his character is supposed to be. When he did take the action seriously, he was pretty solid, offering some insight into different moves and putting over the toughness of certain guys, especially Rick Martel in the main event.
- We open with an absolute belter, as The Rockers take on the Orient Express in what is technically a rematch from WrestleMania 6. I say technically because Tanaka is now joined by Paul Diamond, replacing Sato from that match, and he's under a mask with the new moniker of Kato. There's so much good to be found here, as Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty are on top form, from their incredible aerial offense to their great selling. It's easy to tell that this match is heavily scripted, filled with big spots that are broken up by long rest holds, as the guys talk things through. Meltzer compared this match to Savage-Steamboat, and I'm not sure I'd go that far, as the pace does slow down considerably at times to it's detriment. That being said, it's still certainly the best opening match to any pay-per-view I've reviewed thus far and had me hooked the whole way through.
- Big Boss Man as a face is incredibly over in Miami on this night, as he picks up a win over The Barbarian. Barbarian has had a makeover since 'Mania 6, going more a more tribal chieftain kind of look, complete with fur coat and headgear adorned with antlers. This rivalry began after Bobby Heenan insulted Boss Man's mother, and as previously mentioned, the corrupt corrections officer is over like rover. The match itself is pretty bad, especially when Barbarian is in control, and the only highlights are Boss Man trying to show off with his selling, which in fairness is far better than it has any right to be. I especially loved his back bump following a strike to the head, just curving backwards and flopping to the mat, great work.
- As I brought up near the end of my intro, Sgt. Slaughter is back in the WWF after 6 years away, and is now the most hated heel in the company. Following the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait and the beginning of Operation Desert Shield, Slaughter returned to programming in support of Iraq because he believed the US had grown soft. As archaic a heel template this was, it certainly worked, with Slaughter forced to wear a bulletproof vest in public and receiving multiple death threats. Slaughter was now targeting the WWF title and The Ultimate Warrior, and the timing couldn't have been more perfect, with Operation Desert Storm beginning just two days before this storm.
- But the WWF title match between the two had almost nothing to do with the actual US-Iraq conflict, and everything to do with "Macho King" Randy Savage. Savage had been chasing a title shot leading into this show, and Queen Sherri had attempted to seduce Warrior into agreeing to one earlier in the night. When Warrior turned her down to a big pop, the two caused chaos, interfering multiple times in this match. The action itself was not great, with Slaughter well past his best days and getting gassed within minutes. The shenanigans outside of the ring really saved this, and I loved when Savage popped out of darkness to clothesline Warrior, that was a great spot. Warrior is super over, attacking everyone in sight before it all catches up to him, as Slaughter downed the champion with Sherri's scepter for the win and a very ill-advised title run. Even though the action was just abysmal, the booking of this match really saved it, and though I was incredibly uncomfortable about using these real-life circumstances for heat, I have to admit it worked. The opening spot where Warrior tore up the Iraqi flag and started choking Slaughter with it was definitely too much, but otherwise, this was fun.
- In what was by far the biggest miss of the night, new heel The Mountie defeated Koko B. Ware in an awful match with no heat. This RCMP caricature was portrayed by Jacques Rougeau, and I could swear he was never this bad in tag matches. Koko is certainly capable of more than this, but Jacques is just horrible with an incredibly basic moveset and no character flair. I don't need to see The Mountie ever wrestle again.
- Tag team action up next, as Dusty and son Dustin Rhodes, the future Goldust, take on Ted DiBiase and Virgil. This rivalry kicked off at last year's SummerSlam, when DiBiase "purchased" Sweet Sapphire, that's not something I really wanted to say, but that angle would quickly fizzle out when Juanita Wright quit the company. Dusty and Dustin are a great face team, full of that trademark Rhodes fire, and Dustin in particular is fantastic in this match, selling a knee injury perfectly and delivering a great hot tag to his father. After a miscommunication between DiBiase and Virgil, "The Million Dollar Man" attacks his own partner and then wins the match on his own, pinning Dusty with a roll-up. I thought that booking decision was perfect, putting Ted over as a legit threat, which is crucial for the next few months of storytelling. That's because Virgil turns face following the match, clocking DiBiase with his own Million Dollar belt to an insane pop. This turn was executed to perfection thanks to DiBiase's fantastic heel work, really making himself a scumbag who needed to be taken down a peg. This match may not be too memorable but Virgil's face turn certainly was, and while it didn't work out for the greatest hustler in wrestling history, this was still a great moment.
- Main event time, as the likes of The Undertaker(recently debuted), Earthquake, Mr. Perfect, The British Bulldog(Davey Boy Smith, recently returned) and Hulk Hogan battle it out, and you can tell from that lineup just who won the thing. That's right, the Hulkster becomes the first multi-time Rumble winner in what was a very mediocre match. Don't get me wrong, seeing Rick Martel survive 53 minutes was fun and provided a great over-arching story, and Randy Savage no-showing the match at #18 was a good character touch(he was presumably still being chased by The Ultimate Warrior backstage). But there just weren't enough big names or hot storylines to make this interesting, and once it came down to Hogan, Earthquake and Brian effing Knobbs, the writing was on the wall. The 1991 Royal Rumble might be one of the most boring I've ever watched, and was a massive downgrade from 1990.
6/10
With a better finale, this could've easily topped WrestleMania 3 as the best show I've watched so far. The opener was great, Boss Man was over and entertaining, Warrior-Slaughter wasn't too good but was still fun and Virgil's face turn was one of the best ever, believe it or not. But the Rumble itself just felt like such a letdown, especially when it was so obviously set up for a Hogan victory. It's times like this were missing a top face like Randy Savage or Ricky Steamboat is definitely hurting the WWF, someone to provide something different to the likes of Warrior and Hogan. But that guy just isn't there for the company right now, when he's so desperately needed.
Next time on Henry's Pay-Per-View Reviews: I have no real desire to cover anything else from '91, so we move ahead to 1992 for WrestleMania 8. I know some people might be upset that I'm skipping over the 1992 Royal Rumble, which featured one of the best Rumbles ever, headlined by a legendary Ric Flair title win, but the card for that show is just so mediocre that I don't want to waste my time with it. 'Mania 8 it is, as Flair defends the belt against Randy Savage and Bret Hart takes on Roddy Piper in two famous WrestleMania matches. See you soon.
- Henry
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