The first half of 2003 in the WWE really was defined by the massive airtime devoted to older stars, which began to severely impact the product. Two of the featured matches for Judgment Day were Kevin Nash against Triple H for the World Heavyweight Championship, and Hulk Hogan, under a disguise as "Mr. America", taking on Roddy Piper. The drama between Hogan, Piper, and Vince McMahon on SmackDown had become an absolute farce, and there can't have been anyone besides Vince that was looking forward to seeing what Hogan and Piper could do in the ring this late in their careers. The story told between Nash and Triple H was at least heated, but Nash's body was in total disrepair by this point, so there wasn't much hope of this match being a classic either. Outside of the old farts division, the main event didn't hold a ton of promise, as the Big Show, rapidly devolving into the worst shape of his life, was challenging for the WWE Championship in one of the more outlandish gimmick matches, the Stretcher match. Long story short, Judgment Day checked in with one of the weakest cards imaginable, and I can't say I was looking forward to watching it after the failures of Backlash.
- Judgment Day 2003 comes to you from the Charlotte Coliseum in Charlotte, North Carolina, the former home of the Hornets and Bobcats for a few years before being demolished in 2007. This is apparently the only pay-per-view ever hosted in the venue, though of course the Charlotte area has had a deep connection with pro wrestling, especially during the territorial days. Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler are on the call for Raw-branded matches, while Michael Cole and Tazz are on hand for the SmackDown ones.
- Our opening contest is a six man tag involving an odd collection of talent, as John Cena teams up with two members of the Full Blooded Italians, Chuck Palumbo and Johnny Stamboli, to take on Chris Benoit, Rhyno, and Spanky (Brian Kendrick). Nunzio, another member of the FBI, is present at ringside, and helps his boys score the win, holding Spanky's leg during an attempt to hit the Sliced Bread #2, allowing Palumbo and Stamboli to flatten Spanky with the Kiss of Death (a backbreaker followed up with a diving leg drop). The referee didn't notice Nunzio's interference, as he was distracted with Benoit, who was refusing to let go of the Crippler Crossface on Cena. Overall, this was about as good as a four minute match involving this many guys really can be. Spanky showed plenty of potential, not surprising given the talented worker he would turn out as, taking a few big bumps and selling well for Palumbo and Stamboli. After Spanky was worked down, Benoit put together a tremendous hot tag, suplexing everyone in sight while the crowd went nuts. Even though the "Rabid Wolverine" has gone down the card since his time in the WWE title scene earlier in the year, it's clear the fans still see him as a very big deal.
- Test and Stacy Keibler's real-life relationship made it's way onto TV screens last year, and the pairing quickly got over on the strength of Stacy's charm, though it has been obvious for his entire WWE tenure that Test is ill-suited to portray a face. A heel turn for Test is on the cards, as shown last month at Backlash when he made out with Torrie Wilson, although the two are still working together to some extent, with Stacy convincing her boyfriend to team up with Scott Steiner to take on the recently debuted La Resistance. This isn't much as a match, though there were a few highlights, like Rene Dupree jumping into an overhead belly-to-belly suplex from Steiner, and Test dismantling the two pompous Frenchmen with a couple impactful power moves. However, most of the focus isn't in the ring, it's with Stacy Keibler, who ends up in the arms of Steiner after being knocked from the apron by Test courtesy of a dropkick from Sylvain Grenier. Test and Steiner bicker, and Test accidentally blasts his tag partner with a big boot, allowing La Resistance to pick up the win, Scott getting laid out with the Bonsoir (a double team spinebuster by Dupree and Grenier).
- After stealing the WWE Tag titles last month from Team Angle, Eddie and Chavo Guerrero were scheduled to challenge for the gold again in a ladder match, but just days before Judgment Day, Chavo tore his biceps and had to go in for surgery. The match goes ahead with Eddie picking a replacement in Tajiri, and the two make for a solid makeshift team. They put on an excellent showing in this ladder match, which is chock full of exciting choreographed spots, as all four men take plenty of punishment from the steel. The first few minutes are mostly just wrestling, before Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas are first to climb the ladder, and from that point forward, it's all action. Tajiri hits his handspring back elbow into the ladder to stop the champions from climbing, and he and Eddie then dropkick a ladder into Haas' groin. Eddie takes a bump to punish Haas, who was trapped in a ladder sandwich, with Eddie spingboarding onto the top ladder, driving into Haas' sternum and his own back. Eddie's spine then gets pulverized into a ladder set up in the corner courtesy of Shelton Benjamin and his T-Bone Suplex, and Shelton then leaps off a ladder to hit a hip drop on Tajri, who was sprawled out across a horizontal ladder positioned on the top rope. Haas takes a huge bump off the ladder, which was shoved by Eddie, and Charlie is put in the Tarantula by Tajiri, who then gets a ladder thrown at the back of his head by Shelton. Eddie hits a Frog Splash off the top of a ladder on Benjamin, then tries a sunset flip bomb off the top of the ladder on Haas, which doesn't quite work perfectly, as the two men weren't completely in sync and Haas awkwardly falls to the mat. It's a shame that spot went awry, as it was clearly intended to be the big closer to the match, but oh well, at least the ambition was there. Eddie and Tajiri then scale the ladder, Shelton tries to stop Eddie but gets misted in the face by Tajiri, and the two fan favorites claim the gold. I do question the decision to go for a title switch here, as you could've just kept the titles with Team Angle and saved the big pop for their loss for Chavo's return, but this match was still creative and exciting, and ended up being better than pretty much anything else on this night.
- The Intercontinental Championship was retired last year at No Mercy, with Kane losing to Triple H in a title unification match. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, recently appointed as co-GM of Raw, made the call to bring back the title, crowning a new champion in a battle royal. I'm personally a fan of the concept of having a big battle royal to determine something important, but for whatever reason, this match only included 9 participants, removing the fun of seeing a mass of humanity all fight it out for gold. The other 8 men (Lance Storm, Rob Van Dam, Test, Christian, Chris Jericho, Booker T, Goldust, and Val Venis, returning to his original pornstar gimmick after being fired as Chief Morley) all gang up to attack Kane, who manages to eliminate Storm before the numbers game gets the better of him. Kane goes on a chokeslam rampage despite no longer being legally in the match, attacking everyone in sight, and it quickly comes down to the alliance of Christian and Chris Jericho facing off with former tag team champions Booker T and Goldust. Booker and Goldust play to the crowd, each hitting the Shattered Dreams before Booker does the Spinaroonie. Goldust tries to use this opportunity to dump Booker out, but Booker counters and Goldust is sent to the floor. Christian and Jericho work together for a short time, before the former outsmarts the latter and sends Jericho packing during an attempted Lionsault. It's down to Christian against Booker, and it appears that Booker has finally gotten a big win after knocking Christian to the floor with a thrust kick. However, the referee is down after taking a dropkick from Christian a little bit earlier, and the sneaky Christian takes full advantage of his second chance, snatching the Intercontinental title from Pat Patterson at ringside, braining Booker with it and tossing him to the floor to be declared the winner. It was nice for Christian to get some of the limelight after being left to toil in mediocrity following the dissolution of his team with Edge, but Booker certainly could've used a big win after the controversial loss to Triple H at WrestleMania, so I'm not sure this was the right call. Outside of the decision on the winner, I don't have much to say about this match, which didn't do much to elevate anyone involved.
- Torrie Wilson defeats Sable in the most prestigious of all wrestling matches, the Bikini Contest, and then we're off to "Mr. America" versus Roddy Piper. Hogan and Piper never managed to have that one defining match against each other, and it certainly wasn't about to happen in 2003. The best I can say for this is that at least neither man completely embarrassed himself, as they kept the action as simple as possible in the 5 minutes they were given to work. For those keeping score at home, that's more time devoted to Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper than that six man tag earlier in the night, this company never ceases to amaze. Piper works the Sleeper Hold for a bit, and Hogan follows up with a big boot, and manages to connect on the Leg Drop. Zach Gowen, the one-legged performer who had recently made his debut as a fan of "Mr. America", stops Vince from interfering on Piper's behalf, and the three count is made. At least this program is used to elevate Gowen, a genuinely talented worker who gotten a lot of buzz surrounding his performances on the independent scene, so at least something positive is happening for someone below the age of 50.
- The bar has been set low for Kevin Nash and Triple H, as surely their World Heavyweight title match can only be an improvement on what we've just seen. Or maybe not, because these two best buddies put on an absolute stinker. Nash was not the most dynamic performer in his prime, but after years of wear and tear, any athletic abilities he might have possessed have long been sapped away. This match goes just 7 minutes, very short for a world title match in this era, and that may have been too long for Nash, who seems to be completely blown up in the final few minutes. These two didn't try very much in this one, with Triple H spending most of the match selling for Nash, taking a back body drop and a couple running clotheslines in the corner. Both men lay hands on referee Earl Hebner, and Earl accidentally taking a clothesline from Triple H allows "The Game" a chance to hit a low blow and the Pedigree for a near fall, which got a decent pop from the crowd, who didn't care much about Nash but would've gotten behind literally anyone, as long as they were opposing Helmsley. Triple H gets disqualified to keep his title, and Nash sends him crashing through the JR and Lawler's announce table, up near the stage. Great, that lousy finish guarantees us more of this sh**. Who booked this crap?
Before the main event, we get a fatal four way for the Women's Championship, as Jazz defends against her opponent last month, Trish Stratus, in addition to Jacqueline and Victoria. These four women rush through a solid enough match, with a couple interesting spots. Jazz and Trish each lock in a submission at one point, the former with an STF and the latter with a half Boston Crab, before they go after each other, Trish using a Matrix-style evasion to dodge a strike and nail the Chick Kick. Victoria dumps Trish to the floor during an attempt at hitting Stratusfaction, and Jazz breaks up a bridging Northern Lights Suplex by Victoria, driving her body into Victoria with a running splash that impressed the crowd. Jazz then drops Jacqueline with a simple DDT for the win. Nothing special, but another good showcase for the champ.
- Main event time, as Big Show and Brock Lesnar do battle in a Stretcher Match for the WWE Championship. The goal of this match is to lay you opponent across a gurney, of which there are the wheeled and plastic variety, and push him across a yellow line on the ramp to win. Brock steals the show with his performance in this match, bumping and selling in a way I've never seen out of him before. Early on, Big Show hits a running leg drop, and Brock's body bounces up in the air in impressive fashion. Show tries to wheel Brock across the finish line, but when the champion starts to recover, Show stops to wallop Lesnar with a big clothesline, which sends the champ falling backwards onto the ground. Brock makes his comeback by choking Big Show with an electrical cord, then nailing him with a running Spear-esque tackle, driving his weight into Show's gut. Full credit to him, all the shine Big Show got from Brock in this match, he gave right back, taking a big bump of his own when Brock rams Show off the apron and Show crashes onto a stretcher. Brock briefly departs backstage, much to the confusion of Michael Cole and Tazz. The champion executes a masterful plan, first bringing out Rey Mysterio, who distracts Show for a while, then Brock emerges from behind the wheel of a forklift. In the spot of the night, Lesnar climbs onto a wooden crate on the blades of the forklift, forming a platform that he dives off of to hit a massive crossbody on Big Show. The crowd goes berserk for this, and rightfully so, the sight of Lesnar soaring through the air was something to behold. Brock then just about manages to hit an F-5, which Big Show is too gassed to take properly, and the challenger is then put on a stretcher and loaded onto the platform on the forklift. Brock gets back behind the wheel, and drives his way up the ramp to victory, the show closing with Big Show suspended in the air while Brock celebrates. This had all the makings of a trainwreck, with Show's poor conditioning and a potentially dull match type that seemed like it would combine to be a disaster. Instead, this was a highly entertaining main event, the best match of the night and another star-making performance from Brock, who proved that he could just about do it all.
3/10
Outside of the two gimmick matches, the bulk of this show ranged from acceptable to horrific, bottoming out with Hogan/Piper and Nash/Triple H. Add to that the lengthy "comedy" bits with Steve Austin and Eric Bischoff, which seemed to only exist to humiliate Bischoff and provided absolutely no entertainment value, and these 3 hours were extremely difficult to get through.
Next time on Henry's Pay-Per-View Reviews: Bad Blood 2003, as the rivalry between Triple H and Kevin Nash finally comes to an end with a clash inside Hell in a Cell. See you soon.
- Henry
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