I honestly don't have that much to say to preview this show that doesn't result in a spoiler for the end result, which I typically try to avoid. I think everyone, including non-wrestling fans, are aware of why this event ended up being controversial, so let's not waste any time and just get right to it. The Road to WrestleMania begins with the Royal Rumble, where 15 competitors from Raw and 15 from SmackDown face off for a trip to the main event of the biggest show of the year.
- The 2004 Royal Rumble comes to you from the Wachovia (now Wells Fargo) Center in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the home of two of the most cursed teams in sports, the Flyers and the 76ers. Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler are on the call for Raw-branded matches, while Michael Cole and Tazz call the ones from SmackDown.
- A tables match for Raw's World Tag Team Championships opens, as Batista and Ric Flair of Evolution defend against the Dudley Boyz. This comes after a lot of feuding between these two sides thanks to Batista and Flair's opportunistic victory at Armageddon, and while the prospect of a tables match involving Bubba and D-Von taking place in the heart of ECW country sounds appealing on paper, the end result wasn't anything special. After a few minutes of brawling, the only highlight of which was Bubba sliding a table across the ring at Batista, Jonathan Coachman, stationed at commentary, runs in. Bubba and D-Von wants to hit him with Wazzup, but Flair stops it, and Batista sends D-Von crashing through a table with a spinebuster for a straight-forward title retention. This needed a lot more time to really develop, which you'll find to be a common complaint from me for a lot of this show.
- The first SmackDown of 2004 featured a well-received title change, as Rey Mysterio got his revenge from No Mercy, defeating Tajiri for the Cruiserweight Championship. Rey makes a title defense here at the Rumble against Jamie Noble, who was accompanied out by blinded girlfriend Nidia, her handicap is part of a storyline where Tajiri sprayed her with mist. Nidia's vision impairment plays into the finish of this match, as she trips up Noble, believing him to be Mysterio, which allows Rey to connect with the 619 and a leg drop to the back of Jamie's head to retain. The match up until that point was fine but extremely short, going just 3 minutes, though it did include some classic entertaining Rey offense, and an excellent counter of a crossbody by Noble, who delivered a vicious gutbuster. This could've been great, but needed more time.
- Eddie and Chavo Guerrero are now fully on the outs, with Chavo blaming his uncle for multiple losses to the Basham Brothers, with the duo unable to regain their tag team gold. Chavo has paired up with his father, the elder Chavo, and takes on Eddie in what was intended to be an intense, heated grudge match, but falls well short of that mark. It's mostly just a lot of mat wrestling, and only includes a fraction of the kind of fiery bar brawl atmosphere I would expect, given the storyline going in. It doesn't help that the crowd doesn't care about Chavo, as he draws very little heat for anything he does, and it makes it obvious that this is only going to be a stopgap for Eddie on his path to the main event. Eddie wins with relative ease, hitting the Three Amigos, then putting it away with a Frog Splash. Eddie then goes ballistic after the match, attacking both Chavos, busting his nephew open in an uncomfortable display. The match really could've used this kind of viciousness, I have no idea why they decided to save it for afterward, where Eddie going nuts seems less warranted.
- Another heated grudge match from the SmackDown brand involves Brock Lesnar, Hardcore Holly, and the WWE Championship, to which Holly is the unexpected top contender for. Savor this moment, folks, because you'll never see Holly in a singles world title match ever again, and to be honest, you probably shouldn't have seen it to begin with. Yeah, Holly coming back for revenge after having his neck broken was a logical story, but he simply can't make a match of this magnitude interesting, and the crowd has no faith in him as a challenger. They're absolutely correct to feel that way, as Holly goes down in decisive fashion to an F-5 in just 6 minutes, a definitive way to make sure he went back to midcard hell. The match was actually decent, Brock's suplexing Holly around was fun, and Holly used his athleticism and rough power to put together a believable comeback. What really didn't work for me was his use of the full nelson hold, which is a method to try and break Lesnar's neck, but if Holly was only focused on revenge and not the gold, I think it would've been way more interesting to see him use some weapons instead. His name is "Hardcore" you guys, it's not this difficult.
- The culprit for a lot of what went wrong on this card is revealed up next, in a Last Man Standing match between bitter rivals Triple H and Shawn Michaels for the former's World Heavyweight Championship. This match runs nearly 23 minutes, which explains why everything was so short, they also needed time for a long Rumble, and also includes a lot of weapon spots, which is likely why Holly didn't use any, so they would seem more special. Even though I'd love to be furious about that sort of manipulation from these two scheming Kliq buddies, I can't, because this was a classic. Last Man Standing matches are difficult to execute well, since the stipulation has built in a lot of pausing for referee counts, which can halt the momentum of an otherwise great match. But these two worked it beautifully, and their psychology was on point, especially from Shawn, who first tries to take out Hunter's legs, so the champion can't stand, and later attempts to make him pass out with a sleeper hold. Logical wrestling is so much fun. Both men bleed heavily, no surprise given how often they bladed during this era, and continue the story of Shawn emotional underdog role from Survivor Series and Armageddon, as he has to battle back after crashing through the Spanish announce table on a springboard crossbody. The crowd is absolutely with it, going wild when Shawn refuses to back down despite being on wobbly legs with a forehead painted red, and build to a fever pitch after Shawn clatters Hunter with a chair shot to the head and a precise diving elbow drop. The counter of the Sweet Chin Music into a low blow was well executed, as was Shawn turning a back superplex into a falling crossbody, the latter of which was told extremely well by Jim Ross on commentary, who really sold how much danger Shawn would be in taking that move on his bad back. A Pedigree connects, but Shawn just about answers the count to drill a Sweet Chin Music to a massive pop, before collapsing, and not having the strength left to beat the count once more. It ends in a draw, which is not a decision the folks in Philly were pleased with, and I will say that this probably was the right time to end this feud. Shawn and Hunter had been working against each other for a year and a half by this point, and they each really needed to move on. Keeping them in each other's orbit would lead to some great matches in the future, sure, but it wasn't worth this despised finish.
- Before we get to the main event, we've got time to kill, as Eric Bischoff, GM of Raw, and Paul Heyman, GM of SmackDown, each come out to declare that their brand will win the Rumble, and each take a Stunner from the Sherriff of WWE, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. The commentary team for the Rumble match is the tandem of Jim Ross and Tazz, which I was psyched for, that's literally my two favorite commentators of this era, an absolute dream team. For the record, they were great together. Finally, we have an interview with Goldberg, the number 30 entrant in the Rumble, which is interrupted by Brock Lesnar, paying Goldberg back after the opposite did the same at Survivor Series. Goldberg punks out Lesnar by pretending Hardcore Holly is behind him, and the stage is now set.
- Main event time, as 30 men compete for a world title match in the main event of WrestleMania 20. This is a really cohesive and enjoyable Rumble, and it starts with Chris Benoit and Randy Orton, two of the stars of the entire match. They each go long, lasting over half an hour in the ring together, each surviving many of the same threats. Benoit is the true star of this one, though, making six eliminations, and in a clever bit of booking, all of the men he takes out are bigger than he is, showing how much of a threat he is. Benoit takes out Bradshaw early, knocking Mark Henry out after Henry took a Gore from Rhyno, and later gets out Rhyno, the youngster Matt Morgan, and A-Train. Outside of Benoit's triumphant night, there are a few very enjoyable spots to keep the crowd engaged, like Undertaker's gong hitting to distract Kane, who gets dumped out by Booker T, a moment where Orton and Benoit team up to dispose of Ernest Miller and his sidekick Lamont (Tazz hilariously sings along to Miller's theme song, which would later be reused for Brodus Clay), and the highlight of the entire match, when Mick Foley replaces an unconscious Test as number 21, going after Orton as revenge for a stairwell attack in Madison Square Garden several months earlier. Foley eliminating both himself and Orton is a classic Rumble moment, though the crowd does take a little while to recover from that excitement, as most of the rest of the match is contested to a muted reaction. The crowd apathy isn't helped by Big Show slowly dominating, as nobody seems to be able to slow him down. A few more spots come in the final 15 minutes, like Chris Jericho furthering tension with Christian by eliminating him, and John Cena confronting a cowering Nunzio (Cena had been feuding with the FBI recently on SmackDown), before the "Doctor of Thuganomics" goes out at Show's hands, keeping their feud simmering. Cena landed very awkwardly on that elimination, his leg caught up underneath him, and I think the folks backstage were about to have a heart attack if that turned out to be serious, luckily, he wouldn't need to miss much time. Goldberg enters last and goes on one heck of a spree, he's so great in these short sprints, and poor Nunzio gets the worst, getting cut in half with a brutal Spear, then tossed to the floor with a Military Press. Goldberg wants a Jackhammer on Show, but Lesnar enters to deliver an F-5, allowing Angle to sneak in and dump Goldberg out. See you at 'Mania, gents. It comes down to Angle, Jericho, and Benoit all trying to find a way to take out this unstoppable behemoth. The Walls of Jericho can't slow Big Show down, and Angle seems to have a chance after delivering an Angle Slam and applying the Ankle Lock, but Show impressively uses the ropes for leverage to toss Angle out. Benoit is the last man standing to stop Show, and the crowd is clearly horrified by the potential of Show actually getting the 'Mania main event. But never fear, because Benoit clears out one final giant, applying a front facelock and dragging Show over the top rope and out to the floor. The "Rabid Wolverine" is going to WrestleMania!
- There's a lot that can be said about Benoit's triumph, both at the time and especially with hindsight. Look, I get why folks today wouldn't be excited about reliving this, what Benoit did was horrific and if you ever see me defending the man's actions, feel free to call me any name you can think of. But he was beloved at this time, and seeing someone that seemed so unlikely to be a main event player in the WWE get a win this big had to be cathartic for fans of the time. I personally really enjoyed the match itself, maybe not my favorite Rumble ever, but it's certainly up there. The WWE can censor Benoit from their history all they want, but you can't erase his legacy, good or bad. I know it's difficult to appreciate this match for what it was, and not what it is now, but I think if you try, you'll find it extremely entertaining.
8/10
Overall Average: 6.10 (Up from 6.09)
For as many problems as the undercard of the 2004 Royal Rumble was infested with, it still ended up being very close to a classic show in my opinion, built on the strength of those last two matches. The finish of Michaels vs Triple H may have been frustrating, and Benoit's triumph doesn't hold the weight it used to, but each contest was still wrestling at it's highest level, and succeeded at delivering some of the best I've seen out of each stipulation.
Next time on Henry's Pay-Per-View Reviews: No Way Out 2004, featuring a historic main event between Brock Lesnar and Eddie Guerrero for the WWE Championship. See you soon.
- Henry
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