From the very start, the obvious point to bringing Goldberg into the WWE was to have him be the man to finally end the interminable World Heavyweight Championship reign of Triple H. For most of the last year, "The Game" had turned back all challengers, and while it had been frustrating to see the likes of Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Scott Steiner, and Kevin Nash fall at the hands of Triple H (not everyone was upset about the last two coming up short, but I digress), it could all pay off when Hunter meet his end from the most dominant force to hit the business in years. Sure, not everyone loved Goldberg, and his matches at the top of the card were a little lacking, but anything had to be better than getting more of Triple H as champion. The original plan for the main event of SummerSlam was a singles match between Goldberg and Triple H, with the challenger kicking through the glass ceiling to become the featured player on Monday nights. But with less than a month to spare before the two would headline the second most important event on the WWE calendar, the match was suddenly changed to be inside the Elimination Chamber, with Chris Jericho, Kevin Nash, Shawn Michaels, and young Randy Orton, a member of Evolution with Triple H, added to the fray. What happened? Though it wasn't mentioned at the time, Triple H was walking wounded, having suffered yet another quad injury that would greatly hinder his mobility, and he could no longer play his part in the long, competitive matches that frequented the WWE main event scene. If anything, this revelation makes it even more obvious that Goldberg was walking out of SummerSlam as champ, to be the flag-bearer for Raw while Hunter recovered. Putting the strap on Goldberg was the only sensible booking decision you could make in this situation. Let's see what BS the WWE presented instead.
- SummerSlam 2003 comes to you from the America West (now Phoenix Suns) Arena, no prizes for guessing location or what sports team it hosts. Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler are on the call for Raw-branded matches, while Michael Cole and Tazz will call the SmackDown ones.
- Our opening contest is for Raw's World Tag Team Championships, as La Resistance defend against the Dudley Boyz. Having Bubba Ray and D-Von fight for the honor of the USA against the evil Frenchmen is certainly a choice, though the popularity of the challengers combines with a very patriotic crowd to create a rowdy atmosphere for this one. This wasn't much of a match, Rene Dupree and Sylvain Grenier are still extremely green, so Bubba and D-Von largely just dominate. Bubba splashes both champions in the corner, and hits a Bubba Bomb on Grenier. La Resistance get one big offensive move in, hitting the Bonsoir on D-Von, but he kicks out. Bubba continues to run wild, nailing a double clothesline, and it appears to be curtains for the champions when Dupree takes the 3-D. But in a slick bit of cheating from the heels, Grenier drags the ref out of the ring, and a cameraman enters to brain D-Von with his camera, allowing Dupree to make the pin and retain the gold. Afterward, the mysterious crew member is revealed to be Robert Conway, although JR and Lawler don't refer to him by that name yet. Conway had already debuted on WWE television, pretending to be ex-US military to sneak attack Bubba and D-Von, and he would go on to be a big part of La Resistance's act over the next couple years.
- A-Train's interference in the Sable/Stephanie McMahon match at Vengeance was revealed to be part of a plot by Vince McMahon, attempting to humble his rebellious daughter by having her by run over by one of the biggest men on the roster, top class parenting. The Undertaker took umbrage with this, so now he's been targeted by A-Train, as the two big men clash here at SummerSlam. This was an acceptable enough hoss fight, with Undertaker gaining the early advantage using his impressive athleticism, and A-Train working over the ribs that John Cena injured last month. A-Train nearly gets the job done with the Derailer, but Undertaker kicks out. Undertaker destroys referee Brian Hebner with an errant clothesline, a tremendous bump taken there by Hebner, which drew an audible reaction from the crowd. A-Train introduces a chair, but has it kicked back into his face with a big boot, and Undertaker then gets the win with a chokeslam. Sable, who was at ringside to support A-Train, stops Undertaker from delivering a Last Ride, running her fingers over the Undertaker's chest in an attempt to seduce him, but you know damn well Undertaker is too much of a family man for that to work. Instead, he grabs Sable by the throat, and Stephanie McMahon makes her way out to brawl with Sable again, getting a big pop for her return.
- Somehow, the ongoing conflict between Shane McMahon and Kane has spilled into a match between Shane and Raw co-General Manager Eric Bischoff. This is part of a very convoluted storyline where Kane and Bischoff were allies for some reason, and Eric also sexually assaulted Linda McMahon to get into Shane's head, and also because it's the early 2000s, how else are you going to draw heat? Shane and Bischoff have a really sloppy brawl on the outside for a few minutes, which is then interrupted by Jonathan Coachman, who aligns with Eric by hitting Shane in the back with a chair. This leads to a seemingly endless few minutes where the heels ham it up, Bischoff getting JR and Lawler's mics shut off so Coachman can take over commentary. Steve Austin, the other co-GM of Raw, then interrupts, and Shane shoves Coachman into Austin, which counts as "physical provocation", so Austin can legally attack Coachman. I'm not sure that's the proper definition of that term, but who cares, let's get this over with. Shane grabs Bischoff's hand and uses it to slap Austin, Eric's lawyer is going to have a field day with this one, and Austin hits a Stunner. Finally, this nonsense comes to an end in an impressive fashion, Shane taking flight to drive Bischoff through the Spanish announce table with an elbow drop, getting the pin, as Eric had made it falls count anywhere early on. Wow, this sucked. Three non-wrestlers, all trying to put on something resembling an actual match, and failing miserably. I don't know why we wouldn't just get a match between Shane and Kane, that's where this was going anyway.
- As I write this review, it's currently July 4th here in 2021, so let's celebrate the birth of this nation with a United States Championship match between two Canadians, a mist spitter from Japan, and a proud member of a Hispanic wrestling dynasty, 'Merica. That's right, it's Eddie Guerrero defending against Chris Benoit, Rhyno, and Tajiri, and it should come as no surprise that they put on a banger. This was all action for 10 minutes, starting with Eddie turning up in a gorgeous rainbow lowrider, and then all four men go at it. Early on, you can tell the predicament Eddie is in, running in to break up multiple pins, before the other three challengers take turns wailing on him, revenge for the aftermath of a tag team match on SmackDown where he hit each of them with the US belt. Tajiri is the star of this match, with a really great sell on a Benoit back suplex, and a slick monkey flip to Guerrero, before knocking Benoit off the apron with his handspring back elbow. Rhyno hits a superplex on Eddie, and we get a double submission spot, where Guerrero gets the Lasso From El Paso on Tajiri, while Benoit locks Rhyno in the Crippler Crossface. Benoit and Tajiri then go after it, where the Japanese veteran again shines, countering a German suplex by Benoit with a standing switch and then hitting one of his own, before locking Benoit in the Tarantula to a big pop. Rhyno and Eddie recreate the famous Bret Hart/Bill Golberg spot, Rhyno hitting a Gore on Guerrero, who was holding the US title, so Rhyno gets the worst of it. A cool spot sees Benoit climb over Tajiri, who was trapped in the Tree of Woe, to hit a diving headbutt on Rhyno, and Tajiri breaks it up. The two men then continue to fight, with Tajiri sending Benoit out to the floor with a hurricanrana. Eddie, never one to miss a spot to capitalize, nails a Frog Splash to the back of Rhyno, retaining his gold. There wasn't much in terms of psychology to this one, it was just all four men cycling through offense, and it was a great showcase for what all of them bring to the table. Eddie was really starting to pick up steam as a potential breakout star on SmackDown, so it was a good choice to have him retain.
- Brock Lesnar was positioned as the face of the company at the start of 2003, conquering the Royal Rumble, and going on to dethrone Kurt Angle in the main event of WrestleMania 19. Even though Brock has remained super over in his pay-per-view title defenses, he obviously wasn't drawing the way he was intended to, so the call was made for Lesnar to turn heel, aligning with Mr. McMahon and becoming an unhinged killing machine in the process. Lesnar has destroyed several smaller men in the lead-up to this rematch with Angle, including a vicious assault on Zach Gowen that left the one-legged youngster a bloody mess. I'm not sure why Lesnar needed to ally with McMahon in order to unleash this monstrous side, he was clearly capable of it the entire time. It does add additional heat to his match with Angle, though both men really didn't need Vince's involvement to get a reaction from the crowd. The two put together another intense clash for the gold, though it does start a little slower than I would've liked, with lots of mat wrestling and a spot where Lesnar tries to walk out with the WWE title. They get into the good stuff after that point, each tossing the other around, with the highlight coming from a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Lesnar. Brock pulls out a cradle lift into a slam, a move very similar to Ryback's Shell Shock, and Angle trades back with his rolling German suplexes. Lesnar counters an Angle Slam, and Angle counters an F-5 with a beautiful tornado DDT, one of the best I've seen. The straps come down for Angle, who almost wins it with the Angle Slam, and gets the Ankle Lock applied. Lesnar rolls through to send Angle crashing into referee Mike Chioda, but that doesn't save the challenger, as the Ankle Lock is right back in. With the ref down, Lesnar taps, and Vince saves his man, hitting Angle with a chair. Brock, hopping on one leg to still sell the effects of the Ankle Lock, drops Angle with an F-5. The crowd is totally convinced that's the finish, and go mental when Kurt barely peels his shoulder off the canvas. For a third time, the Ankle Lock is applied, and Brock can't find the ropes, forced to tap as Angle retains, celebrating by putting Vince through the chair with an Angle Slam. Starting the Lesnar/McMahon alliance with a loss was certainly unexpected, and I think the start of their partnership should've been saved for later on, when (spoiler alert) Brock reclaims the WWE Championship in a famous 60 Minute Iron Man match with Angle on SmackDown. Despite the odd booking, this was still great, and the match of the night.
- Kane's unmasking was only behind Booker T's loss at WrestleMania as the most controversial creative decision of the year by the WWE, as many felt losing the mask removed a lot of Kane's intimidating aura. The creative team tried to compensate for Kane's more normal unmasked look by turning him into a straight-up horror movie monster, setting Jim Ross on fire, Tombstoning Linda McMahon on the stage, and kidnapping former tag partner Rob Van Dam to tie him up backstage and threaten a ritual burning. As revenge, Van Dam takes on Kane in a No Holds Barred match, and it's not great. Kane just doesn't feel special without the match, and the two men's styles clash horribly, resulting in a plodding 13 minutes of action completely devoid of the type of cartoonish hyperviolence you would expect given Kane's character. The crowd quickly turns on it, with chants of "you both suck" and a hilarious sign that pops up occasionally, begging Kane to put the mask back on. The two whack each other with a ladder, and Kane eats the steps via a drop toe hold, which Van Dam follows up with a Rolling Thunder onto a chair on top of Kane. Kane sits up, and evades a diving Van Terminator, with Rob leaping off the top rope. Kane spikes Van Dam on the steps with a Tombstone Piledriver, and rolls RVD back into the ring to make the pin. At least the finish looked cool, but this did absolutely nothing for both men, and continued Kane's slide into mediocrity.
- Main event time, as Triple H defends the World Heavyweight Championship inside the Elimination Chamber. The match starts with a continuation of the Shawn Michaels/Chris Jericho rivalry, as the two go back and forth, showing off their chemistry. Randy Orton is first out of the pods, and we've got a full workrate Chamber match going on, with all three men showing off some athleticism, and Randy taking the first of many bumps on the steel, backdropped onto the floor of the Chamber by Jericho. Kevin Nash is next out, and launches Jericho and Orton into the Chamber wall, opening Jericho up, which is payback for Jericho cutting some of Nash's hair on Raw. But Kevin's run of dominance ends quickly, via yet another betrayal from Shawn Michaels, who nails his buddy with Sweet Chin Music, allowing Jericho to make a jackknife cover, very appropriate. The next pod to open is Triple H's, but before the champion can enter the match, he takes a Sweet Chin Music from Michaels, which gets the biggest pop thus far. That was a really clever piece of booking, ensuring Hunter doesn't have to wrestle, and keeping the crowd engaged. Michaels, Jericho, and Orton all exchange right hands, but everyone's in trouble as Goldberg enters. It's here where the match really steps up a level, as Goldberg cleans house in impressive fashion, and the folks in Phoenix are completely behind him. Orton gets mauled with a Military Press Spinebuster and a Spear, and he's gone. Jericho gets destroyed by Goldberg, continuing their feud, launched into the steel wall, then Speared through a Plexiglass pod, and the crowd went nuts. Shawn doesn't have what it takes to handle Goldberg, as his comeback routine ends with a Sweet Chin Music that comes up empty, and a Spear and Jackhammer ends his night. Dead meat Jericho eats another Spear and Jackhammer, and now it's down to Goldberg and Triple H. Ric Flair desperately tries to save the champion, holding the pod door closed, but Goldberg just kicks through it and drags Triple H out, awesome. Triple H is a bloody mess, whipped into the steel and clotheslined onto the floor, and the crowd is ready for their new conqueror. But then, in one of the most impossibly stupid finishes in WWE history, Goldberg charges into a sledgehammer shot from Triple H in the ring, and it's over. All that dominance, all for nothing. Goldberg is then totally embarrassed after the match, taking more sledgehammer shots, and is left handcuffed to the side of the Chamber, covered in blood, utterly defeated. What the f*** is this.
7/10
Outside of the braindead ending, SummerSlam was a fairly enjoyable show throughout, buoyed by an energetic crowd that were largely into every match, save for Kane vs RVD. SmackDown once again brought the goods, with two entertaining championship matches, while Raw, as always, disappointed in their featured showings. In all fairness, the main event was pretty great for the most part, I actually enjoyed it more than the first Elimination Chamber match at Survivor Series '02, as the pure destruction Goldberg unleashed was so much fun to watch. The finish was hard to stomach, and the post-match attack was genuinely harmful, a complete ego trip from Triple H that managed to overshadow the performance of the man that he was supposed to be getting over, not putting down.
Next time on Henry's Pay-Per-View Reviews: Unforgiven 2003, where Goldberg gets his singles match with Triple H for the World Heavyweight title, and Kane faces Shane McMahon in a Last Man Standing match. See you soon.
- Henry
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