You might not have been very impressed with the kind of star power Vince McMahon could pull in over the last couple shows, as the likes of Art Donovan, Walter Payton, and Chuck Norris might be a little too macho (not you, Savage) for the 5-10 year old demographic the WWF was shooting for with the current product. But worry not, because this time, Vince knows just who his audience would pay to see: Pamela Anderson, circa 1995. Yeah, this is another odd choice of a celebrity to be involved in a WWF show. Don't get me wrong, Baywatch was hot property in '95, and Pamela was becoming a global sensation as a result, but man, she just doesn't fit in with anything else on WWF programming. There has been almost no female influence on the product for years by this point, and while women of the, let's just call it more "showy" variety, would slowly gain a foothold on the roster in the years to come, this feels like it came completely out of left field. The decision to bring in Pamela does demonstrate that Vince understands that a shift in presentation might be for the better, and her involvement did net an extra 25,000 pay-per-view buys over last year's Rumble, although that number was down from Survivor Series, not an especially good sign as that event has historically had the least interest of all the original "big four" shows. Look, I don't think it's going to come as a shock to any wrestling fan when I say that 1995 was a rough year for the WWF, and the business as a whole, and we're going to see some of the worst major events the company has ever put on over these next few reviews. I'm heading in with the lowest possible expectations, and maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised.
- Royal Rumble 1995 comes to you from the USF Sun Dome, on the campus of the University of South Florida in Tampa. The venue is home to the Bulls' two basketball, as well as the operating hub of the WWE currently, hosting all their ThunderDome shows, so I'll likely be seeing a lot more of it in the future.
- Our opening contest is for the Intercontinental Championship, as Razor Ramon defends against Jeff Jarrett, who is cornered by The Roadie, the future Road Dogg. These men have been given 18 minutes to fill, a gargantuan amount of ring time for an opening match, and need to figure out some way to kill time. Jarrett elects to stall, getting in plenty of taunting and showboating, which draws decent heat at first until the crowd starts to get restless. Ramon doesn't get in a lot of his trademark offense before he suffers a kayfabe knee injury, the main story for the rest of the match. The Roadie cripples Ramon with a chop block, leading to the champion being counted out, but Jarrett goads Razor back into the ring to win the match legitimately. Of course, it's a trap, as Jarrett continues to work over the knee, and the damaged ligament gives way during a Razor's Edge attempt, allowing "Double J" to win with a small package. The best show openers can really feed off the energy of a fresh crowd, but this match did the exact opposite, working at too slow of a pace and much of it is contested in silence. Razor looked foolish for deciding to continue with the match despite being obviously hobbled, but I thought Jarrett brought the right amount of brutality working the injury over, and Razor sold it well, so that story point added something extra to an otherwise bland match, and setup a, hopefully more energetic, rematch between the two in the future.
- The Million Dollar Corporation continues to target The Undertaker, with Irwin R. Schyster repossessing some items at various graveyards, before taking on Undertaker in a singles match. This is a snoozer, with IRS well past his best days, and a crowd who don't care about IRS or this feud, at all. After many minutes of dull wrestling, with IRS getting gassed and Undertaker no-selling, Ted DiBiase brings down a pair of druids, who get involved at various points only to get battered by Undertaker. Finally, Schyster is put down by a chokeslam, but DiBiase still has more reinforcements, as King Kong Bundy arrives for a staredown with Undertaker. In the midst of the confrontation between the two big men, IRS makes off with Paul Bearer's urn, guaranteeing more of this abysmal feud to come.
- Bret Hart and Diesel didn't get a chance to conclusively settle their conflict last year at King of the Ring, but get another opportunity to fight it out for the WWF title on this evening. "Big Daddy Cool" is now the champ, squashing Bob Backlund at a house show in Madison Square Garden, with Vince gambling that Diesel would be best suited to carry the company on his back. Diesel's reign does get off to a solid start here, with an entertaining slugfest against Hart that was a worthy follow-up to their clash last June. Both men bring plenty of intensity to this fight, each relying heavily on their biggest advantage, Diesel's power and Hart's crippling, pinpoint technical offense. Bret once again focuses heavily on Diesel's legs, with multiple figure four locks and even using tape from his gear to tie Diesel up around the ringpost. The champion fights back with some power moves, including one of the best sidewalk slams I've ever seen, as Diesel slams Bret down with incredible force. Once again, though, neither man is given a chance to actually beat the other, as first Shawn Michaels stops Diesel from making the cover after hitting the Jackknife Powerbomb, and then Owen Hart breaks up Bret's application of the Sharpshooter. For whatever reason, referee Earl Hebner lets this all go without disqualifying either participant, but after Shawn, Owen, Bob Backlund, Jeff Jarrett, and The Roadie all start laying in shots, the match is called off. Diesel, booked to be unbeatable at this time, manages to clear the ring of all the heels, before showing respecting to his opponent, lifting Bret's arm to the biggest pop of the night. It's a real shame that this match was mostly just a means to an end, continuing other feuds while providing little resolution, which didn't do a whole lot for anyone involved.
- The end of the partnership between Shawn Michaels and Diesel has resulted in the vacating of their tag team titles, which were put on the line in an eight team tournament. The two finalists, Bam Bam Bigelow and Tatanka representing the Million Dollar Corporation, and the duo of Bob Holly, still in his "Spark Plug" gimmick, and the 1-2-3 Kid, face off here to determine the new champions. As with all 1-2-3 Kid matches, this one features a couple cool moments, including The Kid countering a powerbomb by Bigelow into a hurricanrana, which clearly awed the crowd, and a fun spot where 1-2-3 and Holly are both caught attempting diving crossbodies, and have to scramble to escape dual powerslams by Bigelow and Tatanka. After a long period of control for the heels, a miscommunication between the pair costs them the gold, as Bigelow comes crashing to the mat off the top rope attempting his moonsault, which Tatanka accidentally interrupted while bouncing off the ropes. After The Kid makes the pinfall, a humiliated Bigelow gets into it with a few members of the crowd, before encountering former New York Giant and Pro Football Hall of Famer Lawrence "LT" Taylor. Taylor sniggers at Bigelow, who shoves the linebacker in a fit of frustration. I thought this moment was executed very well by both parties, especially Bigelow, who rarely got the chance to develop his character. More on this altercation to come.
- Main event time, as Shawn Michaels and the British Bulldog kick off the 1995 Royal Rumble, with the winner to be accompanied to the ring by Pamela Anderson for a world title match at WrestleMania 11. This is by far the shortest 30-man Rumble match ever held, clocking in at just under 40 minutes, and for context, most Rumble matches go about an hour. Entrants come out around every 60 seconds this year, which significantly speeds up proceedings, as most of the competitors only get a chance to enter the ring and throw a few strikes before the timer is already starting for the next man up. This quicker pace is likely due to the severe lack of talent on the roster, as Vince likely just wanted to get through the Duke Droeses and Mantaurs of the world as fast as humanly possible. There are both positives and negatives to this altered version of the match; on one hand, you avoid the boredom of guys standing around and buying time until the next spot, but on the other, many of the eliminations are rushed, with the camera crew caught off guard on multiple occasions and struggling to keep up. I personally enjoyed this match and the overall faster pace, but that's likely only because it was a one-off, with every other Rumble reverting back to the longer match length.
- Let's talk about the actual Rumble itself, where the story centers around those first two entrants. Michaels and Bulldog last all the way to the end, registering 11 combined eliminations as they work their way through the field. On the path to that finish, there are a couple other entertaining story threads, like Bret Hart getting revenge by ambushing both his brother Owen and Bob Backlund, and a genuinely intense showdown between Mabel and King Kong Bundy, which is the crowd was hyped for. For the most part, though, there aren't a ton of spots here, just one non-intimidating midcarder after the other entering and getting taken out by the bigger stars. This has to be the weakest field for any Rumble match, certainly any I've seen, and after the Mabel/Bundy clash and Bret's attack on Backlund, the crowd sits on their hands until the final two. Shawn and Davey Boy could clearly have a great singles match if given the opportunity, but this final clash is more about creating an iconic moment for Shawn than the two men actually wrestling. Michaels is clotheslined over the top rope, and desperately hangs on to the middle rope as his feet dangle above the floor. Bulldog thinks Shawn is out and celebrates his triumph, only for HBK to re-enter and send Bulldog crashing to the floor, as Howard Finkel declares Shawn the winner, with only one his feet touching the floor. The moment could've been handled better, as the camera hangs on Michaels for a second too long, clearly showing that Shawn isn't on the floor yet, but most viewers were likely still fooled by the false finish anyway, since no one had pulled anything like this off yet. All in all, I was entertained far more by this Rumble than I expected going in, though the dearth of legitimate threats and complete lack of crowd investment holds it back from approaching classic status.
5/10
The stinker between IRS and Undertaker was by far the biggest negative on this card, as everything else at least offered some entertainment. In all respects, 1995 absolutely sucked for the WWF, and you can already see the warning signs on their first pay-per-view of the year. Still, a historic ending to a mostly entertaining Rumble, plus another crunching collision between Bret Hart and Diesel make this a solid outing for Vince and co.
Next time on Henry's Pay-Per-View Reviews: WrestleMania 11, where Bam Bam Bigelow faced off with Lawrence Taylor, and Diesel defended the WWF Championship against former employer Shawn Michaels. See you soon.
- Henry
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