After the first few years of stability, Survivor Series has rapidly become the "red-headed stepchild" on the WWF's pay-per-view calendar. In 1990, Vince McMahon added on an extra match at the end of the night, featuring all the winners from the rest on the card. 1991 saw the first singles match in Survivor Series history, Hulk Hogan and The Undertaker squaring off for the WWF title, while 1992 only had a single solitary elimination match taking place on the evening. For 1993's edition, Vince has made the decision to try and get the show back to it's roots, with all of the company's rivalries compacted into four elimination tag matches, and a standard tag match featuring talent from Smoky Mountain Wrestling thrown in as something of a unique attraction. This altered approach could've had a chance to get Survivor Series back into the conversation as a genuine draw, like SummerSlam and WrestleMania, but there was just one problem: the WWF's roster was falling apart. In the past, it had been a cakewalk for Vince to easily fill 20-30 spots on the Survivor Series card, with big names filling out each match and tons of anticipated confrontations to entice fans to tune in. But the "Golden Age" was over, and Vince barely had enough talent on his roster to take most of those spots, never mind whether anyone actually wanted to see them wrestle. Ringers would be a necessity, just to make sure there actually was a card, but even then, the meager pool of talent just kept draining. Several of the biggest names initially advertised didn't show, for one reason or another, and this year's Survivor Series was teetering on the edge of disaster.
- Survivor Series 1993 comes to you from the Boston Garden, no prizes for guessing location on this one. The WWF ran many house shows in this venue, but this was the sole pay-per-view to take place here before it was succeeded by the TD Garden in 1995. I hope you enjoyed the lovely artwork on the promotional posters above; Wikipedia listed both of them in their article so I thought I'd add both to my review.
- Our opening contest continues the feud between Razor Ramon and Money Inc., as Razor's team (Ramon, The 1-2-3 Kid, Marty Jannetty, and Mr. Perfect) takes on a team led by IRS (Schyster, Rick Martel, Adam Bomb, and Diesel). Straight away, we get our first of many replacements on the night, as Ramon announces that Perfect will be on his team tonight, and introduces Randy Savage as their new member. I believe the reason for this swap was Curt Hennig's ailing back, which would plague him for years to come, and led to a long hiatus from the ring. Savage's surprise appearance adds extra life to a match that already looked reasonably strong on paper, and would blow away everything else on this card. There's quite a few positives to talk about here, but by far the most entertaining few minutes came courtesy of The Kid and Diesel, as the two future members of The Kliq put together a great mini-match, with Shawn Michaels' bodyguard tossing 1-2-3 all over the ring. The crowd is so into all four faces, but particularly Ramon and Savage, popping huge for their signature offense. Both teams trade eliminations, with "Macho Man" taking out Diesel before being distracted by rival Crush (more on that later), and the feud between Ramon and Schyster continuing after IRS was taken out by the Razor's Edge, before Irwin got his revenge by causing Ramon to be counted out after a briefcase attack. Marty and The Kid then strike, eliminating Martel and Bomb back-to-back with sunset flips.
- Next up, we have a family affair, as Bret Hart aims to protect the Hart Family name by leading three of his brothers (Owen, Keith, and Bruce) into battle against Jerry Lawler and his three masked "Knights". Now, on paper, this is already an objectively ridiculous concept, as the fans would have little reason to care about the Harts outside of Bret and maybe Owen, and absolutely no reason to care about Jerry's trio of masked goons, none of whom had ever been seen before or had any impact on programming. But somehow, this got even worse, as Lawler was indicted after allegedly raping a teenage girl (yikes), so now Shawn Michaels is in his place, for some reason. At least this swap wasn't announced at the absolute last minute, but any intrigue for this contest is pretty much dead and buried already, and no one has even attempted a move yet. The match itself was a slog, not an absolute trainwreck as everyone involved has been trained properly and Bret and Shawn are two of the best ever, but it's too basic to be appealing, and the crowd doesn't have any interest in most of the participants. The Hart Family come close to pitching a shut-out, but in the final stretch, a miscommunication between Owen and Bret allows Shawn to pounce, eliminating Owen with a roll-up. Michaels takes a hike shorty afterward, leaving Owen as the sole loss on an otherwise great night for his family. Owen could just choose to forget this moment and move on, but there is obviously some deep-seeded resentment and jealousy in him, and he just can't let this go. The two brothers bicker, Owen unleashes some anger at papa Stu, before deciding to hog some of the win for himself, posing on the turnbuckle to major heat, before finally walking to the back. Everything about this incident was played to perfection, especially by Owen, who nails the bitter, embarrassed younger brother role. The feud between Owen and Bret in the coming year was absolute genius, and so this match has built up some extra value in hindsight after serving as the originating point of contention. That being said, unless you're desperate to see Bruce Hart bumble around with a bunch of masked buffoons for half an hour, I'd skip this one.
- The Smoky Mountain tag team titles are on the line up next, as the Rock 'n' Roll Express defend them against the Heavenly Bodies, accompanied to the ring by Jim Cornette. It's fair to say that the WWF have done an absolutely terrible job at giving the fans a reason to care about either of these teams, so those in attendance elect to just sit on their hands for this one, awaiting the sure-fire greatness to come in the next bout. Even though the crowd pressed the snooze button, this is a really solid match, just what you'd expect out of two established, capable teams. Ricky Morton, as always, plays the face in peril, taking two moonsaults from Jimmy Del Ray and a big powerbomb. After the hot tag to Robert Gibson, the champs do mount a brief comeback, but Del Ray gets Cornette's tennis racquet tossed to him, clocking Gibson in the back and allowing Tom Prichard to make the cover. Lots of crisp wrestling and air-tight ring psychology to be found here, which is far more than I can say for what's coming up next.
- Vince McMahon knows his audience better than anyone, which is why he decided to book a match that sees Bam Bam Bigelow team up with the Headshrinkers and f***ing Bastion Booger to square off with the Bushwhackers and Men on a Mission, with the two latter teams cosplaying as Doink the Clown. It's times like these where, as a wrestling reviewer, I have to sit back and seriously contemplate the life choices I've made to get to this point. Even a crowd featuring a large contingent of children think this idea is too corny, and they totally made up for the apathy shown towards the previous match with the wonderfully ironic chants of "We want Doink". Yes, we do, Vince, what on Earth were you thinking? Anyway, the makeup-clad super team easily dispatch of the heels, with Mo even taking the time to ride around on a scooter while his boys dominate, because life has no meaning. I would like to revoke my wrestling fan card now, please.
- Main event time, as the All-Americans (Lex Luger, the Steiner Brothers, and Tatanka) take on the Foreign Fanatics (Yokozuna, Ludvig Borga, and the Quebecers). Of course, this being Survivor Series 1993, that line-up isn't accurate, although this time, it was at least planned. Tatanka and Quebecer Pierre (otherwise known as PCO in Ring of Honor) were both kayfabe injured, replaced by The Undertaker and Crush, respectively. Beyond the antiquated concept of the brave US heroes needing to fight off an evil foreign menace, this wasn't too bad, especially compared to the calamity of the last two elimination matches. Rick and Scott Steiner are just as good as ever, and the story arc between Crush and Randy Savage continues to escalate, with Savage getting his revenge by causing Crush to be eliminated. The two men are beefing after Crush aligned with Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji, alleging that Savage, who had been an on-screen ally of his, had ignored him after Crush sustained injuries in an assault by Yokozuna. This would lead to their underwhelming Falls Count Anywhere match at WrestleMania 10, but at least the feud was hot before it's finale, and the crowd clearly enjoyed getting to see some more Macho. The match calms back down after Savage is finally removed from the building, but heats right back up again when The Undertaker is tagged in for the first time. This was really clever booking, waiting all match to finally unleash the biggest threat out there, and the crowd goes nuts for the battle between Undertaker and Yokozuna. Everything Undertaker does is electrifying, and his sit-up after taking one Banzai Drop, avoiding a second, and his no-sell after being rammed into the steel steps before get monster pops. The brawl on the outside between Undertaker and Yokozuna gets both men counted out, leaving it up to Luger and Borga, who had come face to face at the end of SummerSlam, to decide who will emerge victorious. The fans don't care about this showdown, they were apparently only here to see Undertaker, but the battle between the two men is at least energetic, before Lex actually secures the decisive win this time, pinning Borga after delivering his running forearm. Afterward, Santa Claus once again comes out to celebrate with the victorious babyface, as Vince still doesn't seem to realize what holiday Survivor Series is based around.
4/10
Amazingly, this show somehow isn't the worst Survivor Series I've ever seen, which is quite the accomplishment. Sure, the Hart Family and four Doinks matches both mostly sucked, but the SMW tag match was a wonderful slice of old-school rasslin' pie, and the opener and closer both had their moments. Even though this was still a below-average show, in my opinion, it performed well above my meager expectations, which has to count for something.
Next time on Henry's Pay-Per-View Reviews: Royal Rumble 1994, where The Undertaker challenges Yokozuna for the WWF title in a Casket match. See you soon.
- Henry
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