Vince McMahon's over-reliance on celebrity star power has been a theme of the past few WWF pay-per-views, with tons of promotion centering around the appearances of Walter Payton at SummerSlam, Chuck Norris at Survivor Series, and Pamela Anderson at the Royal Rumble. Vince is very inflexible as a booker, stubborn in his beliefs about who can get over, and draw new eyes to the product. With the departure of Hulk Hogan a few years prior, Vince had failed to adjust his booking philosophies to adapt to what his roster could provide, and rather than actually put in the work to turn someone like a Bret Hart or a Shawn Michaels into a legit star, he elected to heavily feature already-made draws from outside of the business. For WrestleMania 11, Anderson is back, and she's been joined by former Playboy model and future anti-vax nutjob Jenny McCarthy, as well as child star Jonathan Taylor-Thomas, and actor Nicolas Turturro. Of course, none of these cameos were quite as criticized as the decision to bring in retired linebacker Lawrence Taylor, not just to wrestle but to do so in the main event against Bam Bam Bigelow. Look, this strategy is easy to mock, and believe me, I have no desire to defend Vince on this one, but he was trying to make money, and the WWF was floundering. The company desperately needed a shot in the arm, not like that, Mrs. McCarthy, and it only seemed logical that all these established names in more successful mediums would provide that little something extra to finally get the WWF back on track. Ironically, drawing money is exactly where this show failed, as WrestleMania 11 only brought in 340,000 pay-per-view buys, making it only slightly above WrestleMania 2, released when the WWF only barely had a foothold in the market, for the least bought 'Mania at the time, though sales would continue to bottom out in the years to come. This ship still had a depressing long way to sink yet.
- Our opening contest is a tag match, as the Blu Brothers (Jacob and Eli) take on the Allied Powers (Lex Luger and the British Bulldog). I do think Luger and Bulldog have some potential as a team, two explosive powerhouses with main event legitimacy, but expecting them to get anything interesting out of these two clowns would be asinine. The Blu Brothers are extremely awkward in the ring, and they would never get better during later appearances in the WWF, WCW, and TNA under various different gimmicks. Their only interesting element, using "twin magic" to fool the referee, is useless here as Jacob switches out for Eli, only to just be pinned moments later after a Sunset Flip by Bulldog.
- In a Royal Rumble rematch, Razor Ramon is now challenging for the Intercontinental Championship as he faces off with Jeff Jarrett, and also now has The 1-2-3 Kid in his corner, to ward off any interference by The Roadie. Ramon and Jarrett are capable of good things together, and get a glimpse of a decent match in here, with Jeff bumping well for Razor, who tosses Jarrett onto The Roadie, then floor the champion with a big right hand. The match does start to drag with Jarrett working a few long rest holds, but Ramon fights back with his top rope back suplex, and once again "The Bad Guy" attempts to hit the Razor's Edge. Unfortunately, we get a lame disqualification finish, as Roadie drops Ramon with another chop block. After the match, 1-2-3 Kid provides a little excitement with a few spinning kicks to both heels, making me question why this wasn't just a tag match, that would've been so much better. Maybe not befitting of a spot on a WrestleMania card, but a title match ending in a DQ shouldn't be on here either.
- King Kong Bundy is the next in line for the Million Dollar Corporation to square off with The Undertaker, as the two big men battle in another lousy match for "The Deadman". It was at least a slight improvement over Undertaker's match with IRS at the Rumble, though that was only because it was given half the time. Bundy, though a decent monster heel in his time, just doesn't have anything left in the tank by this stage of his career, and can't offer anything interesting in this match. Undertaker wins after hitting a powerslam, which did get a decent pop from the crowd, and a diving clothesline. For some reason, Undertaker's war with Ted DiBiase's hapless faction continues, as Kama Mustafa steals the urn for the Corporation. This match was slightly redeemed with a cool moment during Undertaker's celebration, as the camera gets a good shot of Undertaker with his eyes rolled back while the lights flicker.
- For some reason, Owen Hart gets to challenge the Smoking Gunns for the WWF tag titles, and is allowed to keep the identity of his partner a mystery, a huge advantage for Owen that doesn't seem at all fair given he did nothing to earn a title match. Owen's surprise partner is Yokozuna, making his return after losing the Casket match to The Undertaker back at Survivor Series. Like the IC title match, this borders on being decent at times, with the Gunns hitting a couple impressive double team moves that show off Billy's athleticism, and Owen is still as good as ever, having now added Bret's awesome sternum turnbuckle bump into his repertoire. Unfortunately, Yokozuna is relied upon to work some of this match, and the former WWF champion is really struggling, getting absolutely blown up after only a few minutes in the ring. Yokozuna does have just enough in him to drop Billy with a belly to belly suplex, before delivering a Banzai Drop that gets the win for the heels. Owen reinforces his delightfully obtuse heel persona by tagging in just to make the cover, then literally jumping for joy when the ref hands him the tag belts, what an absolute piece of work. Owen's the best, man.
- Roddy Piper is the guest referee in a Bret Hart match at WrestleMania for the second year in a row, as "The Hitman" goes for revenge against Bob Backlund in an I Quit match. This stipulation is usually a bit dull, as it's basically just a normal submission-only match, only with a microphone added in. Somehow, Piper turns it into a complete farce, with some of the worst refereeing I've ever seen in a wrestling match. Roddy is constantly butting in to screech "What do ya say?", and it grounds the match to a halt as Hart and Backlund have to keep pausing whatever they're doing to answer the question. This supposed grudge match turns into a comedy affair, with Piper getting a chuckle from the crowd for deciding to ask Hart if he gives up, despite Bret being on offense. After 9 minutes, both men finally just end it, with Bret countering the Crossface Chickenwing into one of his own, and Backlund bellows unintelligibly into the microphone, which apparently counts as submitting. I know Bret has said that he absolutely hated this match, and I have no difficultly believing that, as he looked royally p***ed after the finish, unable to contain his frustration to even pretend to be happy about the win. This was an embarrassment to everyone involved.
- Shawn Michaels and Diesel had formed a very effective partnership over the past two years, with both each claiming an IC title reign for their own, plus a tag title win and a world title match for Diesel at King of the Ring '94. But Shawn's ego brought the team crashing to a halt, with Diesel abandoning the man he entered the company to protect, setting out on his own and immediately capturing the WWF Championship. Now, "Big Daddy Cool" defends the gold against Michaels, the Royal Rumble winner, but of course the drama surrounding the implosion of these two allies pales in comparison to whether or not Pamela Anderson is going to show up. The backstage segments of Nicolas Turturro attempting to locate Anderson are so boring, largely because there's no reason to care about Anderson being aligned with Michaels, and you just knew there was no way Vince wasn't going to have her show up at some point. Indeed, Anderson makes her appearance accompanying Diesel to the ring, while Michaels turns up with Jenny McCarthy instead. Both women are given the privilege of two seats at ringside, where they can look pretty and affect absolutely nothing. Shawn and Diesel put on an acceptable match, with Shawn taking a few big bumps early on before wearing down Diesel's ribs after the champion crashes into the ring post. Shawn's strikes look super weak, but at least he hits a few big splashes to try and make up for it. After a brawl on the outside, Shawn appears to have the match wrapped up with Sweet Chin Music, but Earl Hebner is distracted with Shawn's new bodyguard, Sycho Sid, and by the time Earl gets into the ring to make the count, Diesel kicks out. The crowd boos at this, believing Shawn got screwed, which can't have been the reaction Vince was hoping for. Diesel then fires up and wins with a horrendous Jackknife Powerbomb, apparently the result of an intentional sabotage by Michaels, who wanted to make Diesel look incompetent despite Kevin Nash being one of Michaels' closest friends.
- Main event time, which has somehow ended up being perennial midcarder Bam Bam Bigelow taking on Hall of Fame linebacker Lawrence Taylor. I did like the introductions before the match, with the Million Dollar Corporation and Taylor's crew of other current and former NFL players all getting a run-out. Big shout-out to Steve "Mongo" McMichael, one of the men in Taylor's corner on this night who also had a later run in WCW, and recently revealed that he was fighting a tough battle against ALS. McMichael was well before my time both in wrestling and in football, so I can't say much about him personally, but the outpouring of support I've seen has proven just how much he means to so many, and I wish him the best.
As for this actual match, I thought Taylor brought as much as he could, and the crowd were red hot for the opening as LT slaps Bigelow before clearing Bam Bam from the ring. If they could've kept up that pace, this could've been a really great way to close this lackluster show, but the action slows grinds to a halt after the opening few minutes. Taylor gets gassed, not unexpected given his lack of experience in the ring, but also making it obvious why this was a bad idea in the first place. Bigelow takes control, and hits a very impressive twisting moonsault off the top, but injures his knee in the process. With all the energy he's got left, Taylor hits a couple forearm smashes, then one more from the second rope for the win, before completely collapsing and needing to be helped up by his comrades. All things considered, this wasn't awful, but in no way was this match deserving of the spot it got, although in fairness, nothing else on the card was either.
2/10
WrestleMania 11 was, as far as I'm aware, the shortest WrestleMania in history, clocking in at under 2 and a half hours, which is somehow less than either night of both 'Manias 36 and 37, quite a feat if you think about it. That runtime saved this show from a far lower score, as at least it was a breeze to get through, and no match felt like it overstayed it's welcome. Still, most of the show absolutely stank, with terrible creative decisions all over the card, with even the best segment or match likely failing to make any other WrestleMania than this one.
Next time on Henry's Pay-Per-View Reviews: I had initially planned to cover every show leading up to WrestleMania 19 that I hadn't previously, but I need to get out of this era very soon, for my own sanity. With that in mind, I'm not going to touch any In Your House event, save for the ones I've already reviewed. I wouldn't doubt that reviewing all the In Your House shows is something I do in the future, but I just have no desire to do it right now. We move forward to King of the Ring 1995, which is apparently even worse than this, I don't how that's possible but I guess I'm going to find out. See you soon.
- Henry
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