The 4th annual Survivor Series features two historic, well documented, debuts, both of which have garnered plenty of attention in hindsight, albeit for entirely different reasons. First up, The Undertaker, now one of the most respected and acclaimed workers in the industry, jumping ship from WCW to replace Bad News Brown on Ted DiBiase's team. "Mean" Mark Callous, as Undertaker was known in Ted Turner's joint, had flashed some potential in the past, but no observer could've seen what would await Undertaker in the decades to come. The second debut is more relevant in the wrestling journalism sphere, but still holds an important place in the legacy of this show. Yes, Survivor Series 1990 gave the world it's first sighting of the Gobbledy Gooker, and the best left unsaid about that monstrosity, the better. Aside from debuts, this show also continued the tradition of an entire card filled with multi-man tag matches, with the added wrinkle that the survivor, or survivors, of each match would then enter into a "grand finale" main event, another tag match with heels and faces on separate sides.
- Survivor Series 1990 comes to you from the Hartford Civic (now XL) Center in Hartford, Connecticut, with Gorilla Monsoon and Roddy Piper on the call. Monsoon and Piper are a bit of an awkward fit, I thought Piper's maniac energy meshed much better with Vince at SummerSlam.
- Our opening contest features WWF Champion, The Ultimate Warrior, as he teams with the Legion of Doom and Texas Tornado to take on Mr. Perfect and Demolition. The crowd is so psyched to see these explosive powerhouses go nuts, as well as getting to witness the dream match between LOD and Demolition. Though some of the power offense the guys were trading was fun, I thought this match only got good when Hawk, Animal, Ax, Smash, and Crush had been eliminated. Perfect battles against the odds, spiking Tornado's head off the turnbuckle and eliminating the Intercontinental Champion with a Perfect-Plex, getting revenge for the loss at SummerSlam. It seems like Perfect is going to get the job done when he then lands a Perfect-Plex on Warrior, but the WWF Champion kicks out, a big surprise to the crowd as finisher kickouts were very rare at this time. Warrior then dismantles Perfect with a series of clotheslines, getting the win with a Warrior Splash. The crowd was all in on this match from the start, and that final stretch offered the most drama of any match on the night. Perfect was great here, with the clever elimination of Texas Tornado, before putting over Warrior strong, bumping like a boss for Warrior's comeback. I just wish Perfect could actually win some of these matches, he's consistently great and deserves a spot in the main event, but always comes up short when it counts.
- Next up, rivals Ted DiBiase and Dusty Rhodes captain Survivor Series teams against each other, as The Dream Team (Rhodes, Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, and Koko B. Ware) take on The Million Dollar Team (DiBiase, Greg Valentine, the Honky Tonk Man, and a mystery partner). Before the match, DiBiase introduces the team's fourth partner to be The Undertaker, led to the ring by Brother Love, of all people, those gimmicks are a weird fit together. Roddy Piper sort of ruins the moment by calling Undertaker a "ham hock" on commentary, but it's still a great way to debut a potential new star, giving Undertaker tons of heat by associating with DiBiase, plus plenty of buzz as a late entrant. The booking follows up well, as Undertaker is a force to be reckoned with in this match, immediately eliminating Koko, later taking out an established name in Dusty, all without taking any serious damage. Undertaker never looks vulnerable here, with strikes having no effect, and no one able to get this monster off his feet. Of course, the ball is slightly dropped when Undertaker gets himself counted out brawling with Rhodes, making the new star look a little dumb, but overall, this was a great success. After Undertaker is gone, it comes down to Bret Hart battling the numbers game, going against DiBiase and Valentine, with no one left in his corner. I thought Bret sold the desperation of this predicament extremely well, slowly getting battered while trying to find any possible way to survive. In the end, Ted gets the better of Bret, scoring a pinfall with a hook of the tights, advancing to the main event.
- Rick Martel achieved his greatest fame in the WWF a few months prior to this show, in a segment where he sprayed Jake Roberts with his "Arrogance" perfume, blinding Roberts in one eye. Now, the two men captain opposing teams, with The Vipers (Jake, Jimmy Snuka, Shawn Michaels, and Marty Jannetty) taking on Martel, Power and Glory, and The Warlord, with Martel playing mind games by naming his team "The Visionaries". As always, Shawn and Marty were entertaining, flying all over the place, but this was almost 18 minutes of plodding action. For the first time, one team wins in a shutout, as Martel and his boys slowly eliminate everyone, leaving Roberts on his own to be counted out, chasing Martel to the back while threatening "The Model" with Damien.
- The feud between Earthquake and Hulk Hogan has continued, for some reason, as The Natural Disasters (Earthquake, Dino Bravo, The Barbarian, and Haku) face The Hulkamaniacs (Hogan, Jim Duggan, Tugboat, and the Big Boss Man). I honestly don't have much to say about this match, it was standard Hulk Hogan fare as he easily took care of the opposition, never once looking in danger against this crew of midcarders. Earthquake is saved from taking a fall once again, as he and future tag partner Tugboat both get counted out, leaving Hogan to wipe the floor with Barbarian, putting the match away with a leg drop. The crowd loved it, but this felt like a complete waste of time to me, a total Hogan ego trip that did nothing to help anyone except for him.
- This show is bottoming out, and quickly, as we move on to one of the worst traditional Survivor Series matches ever, with The Alliance (Nikolai Volkoff, The Bushwhackers, and Tito Santana) battling The Mercenaries (Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, and The Orient Express). Slaughter is just the pits on this show, with his agonizing promo before the match, mocking US soldiers stationed in Iraq, before just about putting me to sleep with his dull, exhausting performance in the ring. Despite how obvious it was that Slaughter was well past his best years, he's booked to work most of the 11 minutes of ring time by himself, for some inexplicable reason. I mean, Sato and Tanaka are on this team too, they could easily carry the load themselves, but both are taken out just a couple minutes in, for some reason. That leaves Slaughter to bumble his way through the eliminations of Volkoff, Luke, and Butch, before Slaughter seems to have Tito dead to rights, taking out the ref, which allows for Slaughter's manager, General Adnan, to interfere and poke Tito with Adnan's Iraqi flag. Slaughter looks for the tap with the Camel Clutch, but is disqualified by the official, sending Santana on to the main event in the lamest way possible. This match sucked.
- I could really use a pick-me-up right now, which means it's the perfect time for the Gobbeldy Gooker to make it's first appearance! Thanks, Vince, I hate it. I'm sure every wrestling fan has seen this segment at one time or another, so I won't bother to recap it for you, but I'd just like to state, for the record, how sorry I felt for Hector Guerrero and "Mean" Gene Okerlund watching this travesty. Especially Okerlund, he really tried to make this good, and the crowd s*** all over it. I mean, that was deserved, it's a man in a turkey costume doing cartwheels in a wrestling ring, but my heart just broke for Gene, who never should've been put in this position. No one could've saved this, and dammit, he tried, which earned my ever-lasting respect. Gene Okerlund was too pure for this world.
- Main event time, as based on the results from across the card, we're left with Hulk Hogan, The Ultimate Warrior, and Tito Santana, teaming up to take on Ted DiBiase and The Visionaries. Ted really tried to make this interesting by bringing up Warrior and Hogan's past and saying they wouldn't be able to work together, but that wasn't reflected at all in the match. Instead, Warrior and Hogan clean house with minimal difficulty, never once looking to be in jeopardy, as they combine powers to pick up an easy win and send the crowd home happy. What a waste.
3/10
This show started well, with a hot opener and The Undertaker's debut, before dropping off a cliff with Martel's clean sweep and never recovering. Everything involving Hulk Hogan was pointless, and that combination of the Alliance/Mercenaries match followed by the Gooker's debut might be the worst hour I've ever seen on a WWE pay-per-view. Just wretched stuff, and a real shame, as the Survivor Series was one of the events I looked forward to watching the most in it's first few years, but the entire concept is badly in need of a refresh.
Next time on Henry's Pay-Per-View Reviews: WrestleMania 7, where The Ultimate Warrior takes on Randy Savage in a career-threatening match, Rick Martel and Jake Roberts collide in a blindfold match, and Hulk Hogan challenges Sgt. Slaughter for the WWF Championship in the main event. See you soon.
- Henry
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