My WWE pay-per-view reviews return today, as we're hot on the build-up to WrestleMania 12. At the Royal Rumble (my review here) Shawn Michaels took his expected leap up the card, moving from flashy midcarder to legitimate main event threat after winning the titular match, taking on some of the biggest monsters on the roster in the process, including Vader, Yokozuna, and Diesel. The showdown between Shawn and WWF Champion Bret Hart in the main event of WrestleMania isn't locked in stone, however, as the WWF's expansion to their pay-per-view schedule means there's now one extra stop between the Rumble and 'Mania. Vince decided to make it the finale of two simmering feuds, as Shawn would put his title shot on the line against Owen Hart, who had sidelined the rising star with a kayfabe concussion a couple months prior, while Bret would defend his gold against Diesel inside of a steel cage, marking the fourth and final singles encounter between the two. How would the WWF approach the set-up to one of their most iconic pay-per-view main events ever produced?
- In Your House 6 comes to you from the famed Louisville Gardens in Louisville, Kentucky, a long-tenured basketball venue and the first of two In Your House shows to be hosted there. Vince McMahon and Jerry "The King" Lawler, who was on fire all night with his one-liners, are on the call.
- Our opening contest is the first ever "Cry Baby Match", the beginning of what is sure to be a much ballyhooed legacy for this particular gimmick, pitting Razor Ramon against The 1-2-3 Kid. The winner of this one gets to put the loser in a diaper, which I'm sure both of these adult men feel great about. Jerry gets revved up early, quipping that Razor's mother was ticketed for littering after giving birth to him, his father threw rocks at the storks, and Razor was breastfed through a straw, as Lawler's tremendous roasting is the only thing that makes this stipulation remotely palatable. Both men could be forgiven for phoning in their performances on this night, but even though neither puts forth an A+ effort, their tremendous chemistry carries them through. The crowd is still enthralled by Razor, and are completely hooked after a sequence where Ramon pops Kid with a left hand and gets a near fall rolling through Kid's twisting splash. With Sean Waltman on his way out, Razor wins emphatically, nailing the Razor's Edge twice, before slapping a diaper on his former friend and coating The Kid in baby powder. This was essentially a burial, as the character of The 1-2-3 Kid could never be taken seriously again after this, although in all fairness, he never was much of a threat to begin with. Fortunately, as we've seen in countless reviews into the future, Waltman's career was in no way harmed by this match, though I'm sure both he and the WWE are in no hurry to glorify it.
- Hunter Hearst Helmsley has now entered the "hanging out with attractive women" phase of his career, one he's never truly escaped, as he's accompanied to the ring by Penthouse model Elizabeth Hilden before picking up a win over Duke "The Dumpster" Droese. Droese has always taken a ton of heat as one of the worst characters in WWE history, but he at least looks more intimidating after a recent image refresh, as his hair was cut as part of a feud with Helmsley, and it definitely looks a lot better than the scraggly mess he used to have. That hasn't given him the power to put on much of an interesting match, though, as he and Helmsley don't get into much across nearly 10 minutes of ring time, and the crowd, camera, and Jerry Lawler are too busy ogling Hilden to care. Droese, ever the numbskull, tosses a garbage can into the ring, distracting the ref, and allowing Helmsley to smack Duke over the head with the can lid for a clever victory.
- Vince McMahon is certainly not the kind of man to pass up the obvious money in a feud between Vader and Yokozuna, and has quickly moved to set up a collision between two of the largest men in the business. That meant turning Yokozuna face, as he went after Jim Cornette for being disrespected, and for the first time on WWF television, Yokozuna cuts a promo all by himself before heading off to battle with the British Bulldog. I appreciate that he didn't try a phony Japanese accent to suit his sumo character, but it was very odd to hear his speak in his real voice after years of being mute. I believe in the potential of babyface Yokozuna, as Rikishi proved several years later that a fun-loving, big Samoan dude can absolutely get over, but unfortunately, the turn has happened way too late. Yokozuna simply isn't in ring shape anymore, and Bulldog has no shot to make anything decent out of this. After five minutes of painfully slow wrestling, Cornette smacks Yokozuna with his racket for the laziest DQ ever. An elongated heel beatdown then follows, as Vader handcuffs Yokozuna to the ropes for what feels like an ice age, with Yokozuna too gassed to sell anything. I have to imagine that Vince was very uncertain about pushing forward with a Vader/Yokozuna match after witnessing this trainwreck, which is likely why, despite WWF President Roddy Piper booking a singles match later in the night, it would turn into a six-man tag by 'Mania time.
- Shawn Michaels, never one to back down from a flashy entrance, shows up for his match against Owen Hart on the roof of the In Your House set, doing some sleazy dancing, as is tradition, before almost breaking his ankles jumping down. It's certainly an entertaining way to begin a big match, but it also feels out of place, as Shawn should probably be taking this more seriously; after all, Owen's the man that put him on the shelf, and Shawn's title shot is at stake. That elaborate entrance gives way to a match that has all the drama and suspense of a house show main event, as both men immediately start goofing around, each taking turns to slide underneath the other and look for high-fives from the crowd. There is entertaining wrestling in spurts in this match, but on the whole, it really feels like both men are going through the motions, a common theme on the night. Shawn's big dive to the floor was fun, and Owen delivers moves with the best of them, working over Shawn's back with vicious snap powerslams, including one of the floor. In the middle of this goodness, though, is a lot of rest holds, greatly disrupting the flow of the action. The finishing stretch is the best part of this match, as Owen launches himself for a hellacious clothesline, kicking off a trading of big moves, as Shawn is put in serious jeopardy, locked in the Sharpshooter and then blasted by Owen's step-up enziguri. Despite any attempts to provide suspense, though, there's no doubt that Shawn will persevere, which he does with relative ease, running through his comeback sequence, decking Jim Cornette, before avoiding a second enziguri to turn Owen's lights out with Sweet Chin Music. This wasn't a bad match, but it was nowhere near as grand or exciting as I hoped it would be.
- Main event time, as Bret Hart and Diesel enter a Steel Cage to battle over the WWF Championship, with the winner now knowing he will defend it against Michaels at WrestleMania 12. At this point, the rivalry between these two men is well and truly played out, with four different title matches on pay-per-view across the past year and a half, and they have no chance to top their excellent Survivor Series headliner from late last year. The always infuriating mechanics involved in this stipulation don't help, as Bret and Diesel spend way too much time trying to escape through the door, a cheap way to fill up time in a match when you're out of ideas for new spots. You can tell this pairing is creatively bankrupt, but at least Bret manages to wake up the crowd with his sternum turnbuckle spot, and the folks in Louisville go wild for Diesel posing. For whatever reason, they're really into Diesel, in spite of his pseudo-heel status, and they come unglued when he nails Bret with a low blow and almost managing to escape through the door. But The Undertaker emerges through the canvas, dragging Diesel under the ring, and Bret escapes the cage to very little fanfare, as the WWF Champion has suddenly become an afterthought in the wake of a supernatural kidnapping. Vince hasn't quite ironed out just what being under the ring actually means yet, as Diesel easily escapes and runs away, leaving Undertaker to stand on the cage and pose, providing a cool visual to close the night. This was a lukewarm main event, by far the least interesting Bret/Diesel match.
3/10
1996 Average: 5.83 (Down from 6.4)
I have to assume that everyone involved was eager to just move onto WrestleMania, because this was about as low effort as a WWF show can get. There are good moments on this night, but they're quickly lost to the overall damp and sleepy atmosphere. I can't honestly recommend anything, because there are far better matches in the catalogue of just about every performer involved, and the entire show ended up as mere filler, a way to cap off a few heatless feuds and maybe get a few pay-per-view buys by offering an intriguing match or two. It's a truly cynical show, and one that only has value as a precursor to WrestleMania 12. Speaking of that show, you can read my review of it here.
Next time on Henry's Pay-Per-View Reviews: In Your House 7: Best Friends, Better Enemies, where Shawn Michaels and Diesel square off for the WWF Championship in a No Holds Barred match. See you soon.
- Henry
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