I'm not exactly intending to make these posts daily, but I felt the urge to hop back on again today and get another review up. This time, we've got The Wrestling Classic, featuring a 16-man elimination tournament and the anticipated title match between Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper. Technically, this is the WWF's first foray into the pay-per-view market, as the first WrestleMania, about seven months prior, was only broadcast on closed circuit television. That show lived entirely on high production value(for the time) and bringing in big name celebrities. Vince and co tried to make this show much more focused on in-ring competition, but neither quite lived up to expectations.
- There are really two massive problems with The Wrestling Classic. The first is a lack of stakes, as besides a couple vague mentions of money on the line by Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura, that detail never really plays into any of the matches and the wrestlers never talk about any prize for winning in their promos. The second major negative is that, due to this tournament, there are 15 f***ing matches on this card. 15! In under 2 and a half hours no less! That means that every match is quite short, with no real room to breath or stand on it's own. I just watched this show, and I'm struggling to remember what happened in most of these matches, they've all just melded together in my brain. I'll try my best to put together a quality review, but it's going to be difficult to properly explain most of this mess.
- The opening contest in Adrian Adonis against Corporal Kirchner, whom I've always heard was really terrible in the ring. This match is one of the longest of the first round at 4 minutes, and it probably shouldn't have been, as they have nothing to offer but rest holds and strikes. Adonis wins with a DDT.
- Nikolai Volkoff is out to perform another rendition of the Soviet national anthem before his match, and it costs him, as Dynamite Kid is able to catch him with a top rope dropkick and score the win in about 6 seconds. At least it popped the crowd and was one of the more memorable moments of the night, so that's not bad.
- Randy Savage had debuted on WWF television in the summer of '85, picking up Miss Elizabeth as his valet. We'll see plenty of these two throughout the night, which is one of the few positives of the show. Savage wrestles rings around Ivan Putski, who at least has a nice physique, before cheating to steal a pinfall with his feet on the ropes.
- In one of the best matches on the night, we've got a rare face vs face matchup, as Ricky Steamboat takes on Davey Boy Smith. These men were only given 3 minutes but make the most of it, starting off with some really slick counter grappling, trading holds. Then they begin bumping like bosses for each other, with Steamboat putting Davey Boy over big by taking some fantastic power moves and a couple dropkicks. Davey then accidentally collides with the ropes and injures his groin, as the ref stops the match and Steamboat advances. Maybe somewhere, there's a world where these two were given a solid 20 minutes to put on an all-time classic that carries the hell out of this show, but we ain't living in that world.
- Junkyard Dog faces The Iron Sheik up next, who looked good at WrestleMania but doesn't have much to offer here other than choking JYD with his entrance gear. The Dog wins with a headbutt in a lackluster affair.
- It's nice of the WWF to give us a nice comedy match to break up the serious action, as Moondog Spot takes on the legendary Terry Funk. For some reason, they both decide to leave and take a double count-out, but it's all part of Funk's dastardly plan. He attacks Spot from behind, looking to score a count-out win, but like a complete buffon, accidentally tosses Spot into the ring and loses the match. A true five star encounter here.
- Intercontinental champion Tito Santana is in this tournament, and he's facing Don "The Magnificent" Muraco. Muraco is great here, getting heat from the crowd and bumping well for his opponent. Then he just wins the match with a soft powerslam, but Tito rolls him up for three, winning the match as well. Apparently Santana's foot was under the ropes, but the cameras totally missed it and it's a stupid finish anyways, making Muraco, the heel, the sympathetic wronged party for no reason. This company is truly delivering on all cylinders.
- In a match with some actual heat behind it, a rarity for these last two shows, Paul Orndorff faces Bob Orton in the final first round match. Mr. Wonderful recently dropped Bobby Heenan as his manager, so The Brain has put a $50,000 bounty on Orndorff, which seems like something everyone in the locker room should be trying to win. These two men are given a whole 7 minutes to work, and while the action is fairly basic, Orndorff is well over, which was nice to see. Orton gets disqualified by using his cast to hit Paul in the head, which makes it seem like he was trying to collect on the bounty but the announcers don't bring that up, so maybe he's just an idiot.
- The second round is now underway, as Dynamite Kid actually gets to wrestle this time and he defeats Adrian Adonis to advance. The match was mostly a showcase for Dynamite, but Adonis kept up well. Adonis is sent into manager Jimmy Hart following a roll-up attempt, and Dynamite is able to score a bit of a cheap three count.
- Up next, it's Ricky Steamboat versus Randy Savage, but calm down everyone, it's not quite up to the standard you might think of. The match was by no means bad, but seems extremely lackluster in comparison to their classic almost two years later. On this card, it still might be match of the night, as both men wrestle at a speed that really hasn't been seen at all. Savage score a cheap win by using a set of brass knuckles, as the story of Macho Man's miraculous run through the tournament continues.
- The Junkyard Dog faces Moondog Spot, and pins him in under a minute even though there was no official. I can't tell if this was a genuine f*** up, like the ref just missed him cue, or if Moondog Spot demanded to be protected in defeat, but I choose to believe the latter because that's hilarious.
- It's the final second round contest and another face against face battle, as Paul Orndorff takes on Tito Santana. Orndorff is the clear star here, and I thought he did a great job playing the more aggressive and desperate face, willing to take advantage of Chico's injured leg to try and score a win. The match ends with a really dumb double count-out finish, as both men just brawl on the outside, though at least it was setup on commentary by Ventura, who constantly believed that both men would lose their tempers and start fighting. This draw means JYD has automatically advanced to the finals, and can now just sit on his a** and take advantage of a more weary competitor, what a great babyface.
- WWF Championship on the line, as Hulk Hogan defends against Roddy Piper in what I maintain should've been the main event of WrestleMania. The match is no technical masterpiece, obviously, but both men are bubbling with charisma and the crowd is into all of it. They brawl outside before re-entering the ring and trading submission holds. After a ref bump, Piper hits Hogan with a chair, and a minute or so later, Hogan gives it back, as they begin to build towards the finish. I was definitely into this match at this point, and I would've loved a conclusive finish, but we were never getting one on a B-show like this. Instead, Bob Orton hits Hogan with his cast for another DQ, and Paul Orndorff shows up again to make the save for the Hulkster. This had a chance to be something pretty memorable, but the finish made it extremely forgettable.
- In a bit of a dream match, Randy Savage faces the Dynamite Kid, with the winner taking on JYD in the finals. This match is pretty great, and I especially loved Dynamite's dropkick to Savage, who was seated on the top rope, before delivering a picture perfect superplex. But it's that move which costs him the match, as following the impact, Savage is able to hook Dynamite's legs to steal an inside cradle for the victory. A really clever finish for a very solid match, as Randy Savage has made it the distance.
- The WWF gives away a Rolls Royce in a segment that might have been an all-timer, but I skipped through it so I will never know.
- It's time for the finals of The Wrestling Classic tournament, Junkyard Dog versus Randy Savage. The story with Savage on this night was pretty similar to Ric Flair in the '92 Rumble, the cheating heel who earns your respect by surviving and fighting all the way to the end. We do get a cool spot before the match, as Savage throughs a chair at JYD, who catches it and headbutts it a couple times. The Dog is set up to be the big conquering babyface, the guy to finally beat that dastardly Macho Man, but unfortunately, this match is far more interesting in concept than execution. JYD is simply too limited in the ring, and while Savage tries his best, drawing heat by jaw-jacking with the fans and taking some ridiculous bumps for Junkyard's headbutts, it's just not enough. Just to make things worse, we don't even get a clean finish after all this setup, as Savage is too beat up to get back in the ring and loses by count-out. Afterwards, JYD isn't even allowed to celebrate his win, as Jesse Ventura gets in the ring and yells at him for not being a deserving winner, having wrestled one less match than Savage. I don't know what the point of this was, way to undermine your entire big tournament by making the ending needlessly controversial.
3/10
While there were a couple good matches on this night, the entire concept of the one night tournament meant there could never be anything better than that. Throw in disappointing finishes for your two biggest matches, the title match and tournament finals, and it just feels completely meaningless. Without the incredible performance of the Macho Man, this would easily be the worst show I've ever watched.
Next time on Henry's Pay-Per-View Reviews: Can the WWF turn things around at WrestleMania 2, featuring Hulk Hogan and King Kong Bundy in a steel cage and Roddy Piper and Mr. T in a boxing match? Probably not, but we'll find out soon. See you there.
- Henry
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